


Blue Bird

by furiousflamewolf



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bullying, Disabled Character, Falling In Love, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Muteness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2019-11-17 13:09:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 33,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18099149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/furiousflamewolf/pseuds/furiousflamewolf
Summary: Federico has been bullied all of his life. This doesn't change in university. To make matters worse he is in love with the unis football captain. What could be worse anyway ??





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zsab1016](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsab1016/gifts).



> For my friend zsab1016 who always listens to my rambling of new fanfic ideas. And who loved this idea instantly I hope you will like it. It's always so much fun coming up with ideas. Love you bro. ❤❤❤
> 
> Song: Blue Bird, Ikimono Gakari

Federico rolled around and sighed softly. He was awake despite his alarm clock not having rung. Blindly he searched for the device on the nightstand until his fingers connected with it. Sqeezing his eyes shut immediately when the bright light illumintated the room. His alarm would go off in 10 minutes. It didn't change anything if he stayed in bed for 10 minutes or if he got up 10 minutes earlier.

Swinging his legs off the bed Fede shivered as his naked feet touched the cold floor. He should have some socks neraby. The tiles in the bathroom would make him shiver even more. He yawned and stretched his body until his bones cracked with a loud sound. Running a hand through his face to rub the sleep away. Federico pushed himself of the bed and went to his drawer to search for some socks, not even bothering to turn on the light.

Switching on the light in the bathroom he looked into the mirror his own reflection mocking him. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. Sighing he grabbed his toothbrush and squeezed a generous amount of toothpaste into it. Brushing his teeth and splashing his face with some cold water to get rid of the last traces of sleep. Despite the heater being on it was still freezing cold in the small college room he was renting. That's why he slept with two blankets anyway. 

Grabbing a t-shirt and a pair of jeans from the wardrobe, Federico put them on slowly. He still felt a little bit dizzy. He had gone to bed at 2 in the morning, just going over some lectures for the test that Mr. Solari would be asking of them. Everyone said it would be an easy test still Federico wanted to be prepared. Even if it was easy he felt safer knowing he had studied for stuff. The hoodie he put on provided some warmth that was his freezing room. They were in late November and it had started snowing. 

Federico grabbed the bag which hung on his chair and stuffed some books inside. Grabbing his drawing block from the stack at the end of his table and shoving it into his bag carefully. He had two free hours after the exam so he could continue drawing at the cafe on campus. Grabbing his grey beanie, putting it on his head and slinging his bag over his shoulder, Federico locked the door to his apartment. A thin layer of snow waving right into his face. He went to the library and waited in front of it, checking his phone when a voice made him turn around and smile.

"Sorry Fede did you have to wait long ??"

Federico shook his head and hugged his friend Sergio Reguilon who was still apologizing. The older one looking at his phone and grumbling. They were still waiting for some others. Sergios teeth clattered next to him. Federico nudged him in the ribs lightly and pointed inside of the library. Sergio nodded and sighed at the warm air inside of the building.

"How long were you up again looking at Solaris presentation ??"

Federico held up two fingers and Sergio sighed and shook his head.

"You know that he is not our biggest problem. I don't think he would let any of us fail really. Are you still in Mourinhos class ??"

Federico pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded his head. Sergio sighed and was about to say something when the door to the library opened again sending shivers down their spines, the cold air from the outside mixing with the warm air from the inside. Alvaro, Marco and Marcos greeting and hugging them.

"Fede is still in Mous class can someone of you please tell him to choose another one. Por favor no one listens to me here anyway."

Alvaro raised his eyebrows.

"You are still in Mous class Fede why ?? There are other professors you know that. That guy can't stand you. He will never give you the grade you deserve because he is a selfish bullying person."

Federico sighed frustrated. He knew that on his own. At least Mou didn't pity him and treated him as everyone else although his grade had indeed suffered from it. It was still 50% written and 50% oral partecipation. Fede was aware of that. Even though he had A's in his written exams his oral partecipation was non-existent so he was somewhere in the middle. It was just this one class. Federico didn't want to change it. He had his reasons. 

Their discussion found an end when the last ones of their group arrived at the library. 

"Luca, Cristo you are late damnit. I still wanted to drink a coffee."

Luca apologized hastily to Marco.

"If you wanted to drink a coffee you could have gotten one while you waited. Don't blame it on Luca besides it was my fault anyway."

Cristo had slung an arm around Luca's shoulder protectively. Marco rolling his eyes at them in fake annoyance while Alvaro nuzzled his neck gently.

"Regui where is your boyfriend anyway ??"

Sergio shooed all of them outside into the cold again so that Marco and all of them could get their coffee before going to Solaris classroom to write the exam. Marcos pointing at a free table at the end of the room where all six of them make themselves comfortable.

"Fede what do you want to drink ??"

Federico grabs a small block he always keeps in his coat and scribbles some words onto it and holding it up to Sergio who nods. Sergio ordering a hot chocolate with whipped cream for him. Federico holding up the block again.

Thank you.

Sergio pats his hand gently and smiles at him. They could have used sign language but sometimes it was easier just to write stuff down. Which was why Federico had choosen to do it in the first place. Their drinks arrive in record time and all of them chat about the upcoming exam of Prof. Solari. Not that any of them is worried about it.

"Marcos you barely passed his test last time."

Marcos made a disgruntled noise while sipping on his coffee. He had nearly failed that test because he hadn't looked at one lecture and Prof. Solari had said it wasn't important. It hadn't been his fault that man tried to trick them ok.

"I will pass with flying colors this time watch Odri you just watch."

All of them laugh at that. It was nice talking to their friends like that. Fede had known Sergio since elementary school all of the others they had gotten to know in highschool. So all of them had decided to go to the same university in Madrid together. Since Fede was mute since the start of highschool, Sergio had always been by his side. Even going so far with learning sign language for him. Sergio was like his older brother and Federico would be eternally grateful to him for that.

Meanwhile Marcos was hyperventilating about the exam. The class was full and all of them went to sit in the back. Trying to reassure Marcos that everything would turn out fine. Prof. Solari was all smiley and happy faced. It was just a tactic to lure them in. He was a fair professor but he didn't gift you the grade as if they were candy. You had to earn them. 

90 Minutes later Marcos looked like he needed to throw up so Marco and Alvaro escorted him to the bathroom. Luca and Cristo had left to get some sandwiches for practise which left Sergio with Federico. Both of them sitting on a bench and waiting for their friends to return.

"The Mou class, you are still attending that one because of him aren't you ?? I know you are. But there are other english translation classes for example the one right after Prof. Solaris where we are at practise. "

Federico blushed. He knew he was delusional. He was interested in someone who in a million years wouldn't be interested in him. It was so cliche being intersted in the unis football captain. Not that Fede stood a chance anyway. Javi was probably not even into men. He had hoards of girls running after him. No one had seen him with a girlfriend though which had ignited this tiny spark of hope in Federico. Still only because someone had never been seen with a girl before didn't mean he didn't have one.

"Just so you know and because I am your brother and I want to see you happy, he doesn't have a girlfriend."

Fede looked up from his hands and looked at Sergio wide eyed. His face heating up. Still it didn't mean Javi would be interested in him. He was mute. He was a freak who would be interested in him anyway. A sandwich was held in front of his face. The plastic wrapper making horrible noises because Cristo was crumpling it to get his attention.

"I called your name three times Fede. Where is your head ?? You look like you have seen a ghost."

Cristo plopped down next to him and unwrapped his own sandwich. Munching on it. Luca and him had gotten him a BLT. Cristo was shoving the last piece of his tuna mayo sandwich into his mouth when the others appeared from their trip to the bathroom.

"Whats going on Marcos do you feel better ??, Luca teased him with a laugh.

"Shut it Luca it was a horrible experience. Again."

Alvaro rolled his eyes and smacked the back of Marcos head lightly.

"Next time we are going to study together pollito. I already offered it a million times."

"I am not dumb Alvarito."

Alvaro just hugged his friend prompting all the others to hug him too. Sergio had gotten up and was looking at his watch. They had to leave now if they didn't want to be late at practise. Which they would if they didn't hurry.

"Are you coming with us Fede ??"

He usually never went to watch the boys at practise. He went to watch the matches to support his friends, yes but that was it. He could drool over Javi in Mous class. It was not like the class had a high demand anyway. They were like 20 maybe 30. It was more of a school class than an uni class anyway. Fede shook his head at Sergio. His best friend invading his space and whispering into his ear:

"You could doodle while watching him play I know that you have drawn him that's why you never show me your drawings or your block anymore."

Federico sighed. Fine he could go watch practise. He would see Javi in Mous english translation class anyway. What harm could it do. Fede trailed after his friends and went to sit on the stands while the others disappeared in the lockerroom. Fede had actually liked soccer prior to becoming mute. He really had. He also enjoyed watching it but the playing factor was gone for him. Sergio and the others trailed on the pitch. Their laughs filling the air.

Federico was looking out for the number 5. Around the others arm was his captains armband. It send shivers down Federicos spine. He opened his bag and put the block and a simple pencil in his lap. Flipping through the pages. He would have to buy a new one soon. The block was nearly full. With portraits of said number 5. Which depicted him running or passing the ball. Some were from his english translation class where he could doodle a side portrait. 

It was the only thing Federico had. He would never have the courage to ask him. Not that Federico talked. He couldn't just go to the captain of the uni soccer team and write him letters. Who would want to be with a mute antway. It wasn't worth the effort. Fede even thought of skipping his class that day. Sadness egulfing his mind. Stray tears running down his cheeks but Federico wiped them away hastily to prevent them from ruining his drawings.

He was delusional if he thought he would have a chance of being with the most popular guy of the whole school. It wasn't about popularity. Javi had been the only one who had stood up for him when he had been bullied once in class. Some guys had been throwing paper balls at his head. Which Federico had ignore because he was used to it. 

They always read the same horrible things.

Freak.

Faggot.

Pussy.

Die already.

Cocksucker.

Javi had told them to stop. Which Federico had been eternally grateful for. But he had only done it to keep his flawless image as the football captain. Although Sergio had told him that Javi cared about all of them. He would never care about him though. Federico hadn't noticed that practise had ended already. He rushed to Mous class. Colliding with those bullies.

The art block which was clutched to his chest fell to the floor. The images scattering around. His bullies snickered at him and picked up a few stray drawings.

"Look at that the little cocksucker is interested in the captain."

They laughed at him. Tearing the drawings into pieces. Fede wanted to yell at them but no word left his mouth. Just soundless sobs and tears. The piece of the drawings were thrown on the floor. Federico kneeling before them and trying to collect them. A shadow obsuring his vision. Making the Uruguayan clutch the pieces to his chest protectively. 

"I am sorry they are doing this to you. Here let me help."

Javi didn't even look at the drawings just stashed them neatly into the block again and handed it to Federico. Offering him a hand. Which the younger one took. Nodding gratefully at the other. 

His art block still clutched to his chest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Federicos encounter with Javi doesn't go as expected.

Federico entered the class and was immediately scolded by Mourinho who was tapping on the table his laptop was sitting on, impatiently. 

"Mr. Valverde you know I expect everyone to be in my class on time."

Federico swallowed hard and bowed in apology, his art block still clutched to his chest he made his way to his seat. Scattering the pieces of the ruined drawings on the table next to him. He still felt like crying. Those drawings were important to him. He was a fool why was he even drawing Javi in the first place. He felt like crying again. 

Javi sat a few seats in front of him and was writing on his block. There were sentences to translate on the blackboard. Federico sighed and tried to focus on the sentences when something hit his head. He already knew what they were. Paper balls with insults. He hated those guys. They didn't leave him alone and now the whole university would know that he was in love with their football captain. Mourinhos lecture felt like hours to Federico who didn't even dare to look at Javi. 

As soon as Mourinho dismissed them, Fede made sure all of the piece of his ruined drawings where safely stashed in a plastic bag. He had a free hour and he would try to save the drawings as much as he could. He waited until the class had dissolved and slung his bag around his shoulder and made his way to the cafe from the morning. Sergio and the others had a class and they had agreed to meet there to go to the city. Cristo had wanted to buy the new CD of his favourite group. 

The cafe was fairly empty as it was around 2 pm. Fede went to sit on a table and scattered the piece on his drawings onto it. Grabbing some tape from the bottom of his bag and a pair of scissors. He hadn't even noticed that Javi and a few others entered the cafe, he was so drawn to his work. Arranging the piece like a puzzle and slotting them together before cutting off a piece of tape to glue them together. His art block was laying at the end of the table while he worked in concentration. His tongue sticking out of his mouth slightly.

Javi had sighed at the prospect of having to work on a group project with the bullies from before. They bragged about having destroyed Federicos drawings which Javi didn't approve of in the slightest. Hadn't their parents taught them any manners ?? The group of 5 ordered a round of coffee and was chatting about the project. Javis mind wandered to Federico and his shocked and sad face. 

"Javier ?? Javier are you listening ??"

Javi shook his head. He hated it when people called him Javier. He was Javi. Just Javi. The guys were laughing at something and the only girl in their group was hitting on him. Great. Batting her eyelashes and making kissy faces with her mouth. Javi wanted to gag. That's when one of them frowned.

"Hey isn't that the freak at the table over there ??"

He pointed with his finger at a table which Javi had his back turned to. 

"Yeah that's right. Look at him trying to save those drawings, pathetic."

Javi blew some air out through his nose to calm himself.

"Javier did you know that his block is full of drawings of you ?? The little fag is interested in you. I mean you are the captain of the football team. But really the freak thinks he stands a chance. What do you say Javier do you think you could make him talk ?? I bet he would drop the act if YOU would talk to him."

The girl chirrped in.

"Yeah he is just acting I don't believe a word that he is seriously mute. What a freak."

All of them laughed at that. Except for Javi who didn't think it was funny to begin with. Fede was friends with Reguilon and the others. He wasn't faking it. One of the bullies got up and Javi thought he would go to the bathroom. He was wrong. 

Fede was minding his own business and he was nearly finished with glueing together the first drawing which made him incredibly happy. It had been his favourite. Javi had just scored a goal that led the team to win and Fede had captured that moment just in time. He was about to stash it inside his art block when said block was was picked up and waved in the air. Federico turning around his eyes wide.

The guy was waving it in the air a dirty grin on his face. He hovered the block above a lit candle that sat on every table. Federico attempts of getting it back were futile. Tears pricking in his eyes when the paper approached the flame. 

"That's enough. Return it immediately."

The bully turned around and snickered. Fedes eyes were wide in surprise.

"What was that Javier ??"

Javi narrowed his eyes dangerously and cornered the bully.

"I won't ask again."

The other growled but threw the block on the floor and left with his group. Fede was frozen on the spot when Javi picked up the art block and dusted it off and offered it to Fede, who was looking at him wide eyed. The younger one clutching the block to his chest and holding up a paper that said:

Thank you.

Javi smiled.

"I am sorry for their behaviour. Can I offer you a coffee or anything. I know it won't make up for the ruined drawings. I am so sorry about those. 

Fede was incredibly unsure. If he was honest he just wanted to flee. His heart threatened to jump out of his chest. Javi looked even more handsome face to face. It was like Fede couldn't tear his eyes away that's when he noticed that first it might be creepy and second that he hadn't answered Javis question. Blushing Fede flipped through the small block and showed it Javi.

A hot chocolate. Thank you, he added.

Javi smiled and ordered both of them a cup.

"So you like drawing don't you ??"

Javi could have face palmed himself. Good job Javi what kind of lame sentence was that, he scolded himself.

Federico nodded his head smiling when it occured to him that Javi might have seen his drawings. The blood in his veins turning to ice. Even if Javi hadn't seen them someone might have told him. Fede was biting his bottom lip hard preventing it from quivering. Their drinks arrived and he avoided Javis eyes. He couldn't breathe all of a sudden. 

A hand on his shoulder making him flinch and jerk away.

"Sorry I didn't mean to startle you ?? You look pale. Do you feel unwell ??"

Federico shook his head. The truth was he felt like throwing up. Maybe Javi had really stayed to mock him. Maybe all of this being nice was just a trap to humiliate him. Sergio had said that Javi was fair and kind even if he was strict during practise or matches. Someone like him would never be interested in someone like Fede. It was just wishful thinking.

"Sergio mentioned that you used to play football too. What position did you play in of you don't mind me asking ??"

Federico breathed out at that. The knot in his chest loosening a tiny bit. It had been a long time he had even touched a ball. Not like he missed it. That was a lie he really missed playing but he would never enlist in the club because he was mute and he was in love with their captain. Fede didn't have a damn deathwish.

Midfield.

"Oh that sounds great. Sergio mentioned that you aren't from Madrid. I mean from Spain in general."

Fede breathed out slowly and scribbled something on his block.

Uruguay.

"Ohh so you are far away from home."

The younger one shrugged. He barely remembered anything from his home. To him it felt like he had been in Spain his whole life. Javi doesn't ask him anymore questions. Which Fede is grateful for if he was honest he felt a little bit uncomfortable. It was nice of Javi to help him but Federico had a feeling that he was pitying him. Why else would he help him anyway. It didn't make sense. 

"What do you say do you want me to show you the pitch ??"

Fede shook his head no. He had seen the pitch. The truth was he was terrified. Terrified that all of this was just an act. That Javi was playing him and was nice to him on purpose. That there would be someone on the pitch and they would just make fun of him. Maybe Fede was a fool for being in love with Javi. He was an easy target after all. He didn't speak. He couldn't scream or ask for help. No one would miss him.

His own mother hated him because he was mute. That's why Fede lived on campus. Fede hadn't noticed the first tears making their way down his cheeks. Javi looked alert. His eyes wide in worry. He grabbed Federicos shoulder and squeezed it. Trying to comfort or reassure him. It didn't help. Federico was hyperventilating. He managed to throw some coins on the table and then he stormed out of the cafe.

The art block forgotten on the table...

Javi sideglanced the block. He wouldn't pry. That's not how he was and not how he was raised. Sergio had mentioned that Fede lived on Campus. Well it was a giant complex. Or Javi could just return it to Sergio tomorrow at practise. That's what he decided to do. Fede had obviously panicked and Javi felt incredibly guilty. 

Tears blinded Fede as he rushed through the uni campus to his apartment. He chocked back soundless sobs. He was a fool. A damn fool. His phone vibrated in his pocket. His mother was calling him. He had told her a dozen times that she should write and not call. She insisted that he could speak but was only doing it for attention. With shaky hands Fede fished his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. Not even bothering to switch on the light. It was pitch black since the blinds were still shut. 

His bag landed on the floor and Fede blocked the door with his body. His face hidden in his knees. His shoulders shaking with sobs. 

He was a fool to think that someone like Javi Sanchez was even interested in him. Fede didn't bother to change he just kicked off his shoes and crawled under the blanket. Rolling onto his side and crying bitterly. God he was such a girl. He hadn't even noticed that he had forgotten his art block at the cafe. 

Sergio and the others were waiting for Fede in front of the cafe. It was already past 4 and they had agreed to meet there. With a frown Sergio dialed his friends number and waited. No one picked up though. He turned around to the others.

"Guys go on ahead. Maybe Fede went to take a nap or something. I'll go to his apartment maybe he didn't see my text message."

The others agreed and made their way to the bus while Sergio went to Fedes apartment. He knocked but no one opened the door. Strange. Sergio tried to call the phone again. That's when he heard it ring from the inside. He knocked on the door again. After a while the door was opened.

Fedes tearstained face appearing in the doorway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Federico tells Sergio what happened and the group comes together to make their friend feel better.

Federico opened the door to let Sergio in whole enveloped him in a hug immediately. Hiding his face in his friends shoulder. Sergio rubbed his back in comfort and searched for the light switch blindly, squeezing his eyes shut at the sudden brightness. The sheets on the bed were crumpled so Fede had been in bed. Gently Sergio sat his friend on the mattress.

"Fede what happened why are you crying ??"

The younger hid his face in his hands and sobbed. He started signing furiously his bottom lip quivering, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. Sergio had grabbed his hands and squeezed them gently, telling Federico to slow down that way. He had just understood bits and pieces. The one thing that was for sure, was that Javi was somehow involved. 

After a while Federico had calmed down enough to tell Sergio what happened. To say that Sergio was outraged was an understatement. He growled low in his throat. How dare those bastards do that to Fede ?? Not once but twice.

"Fede where is your art block ??"

Federico blinked confused and pointed at his bag that still lay on the floor. Sergio searched through it carefully. There was everything except for the art block. Fedes breath caught in his throat and he grabbed his shoes and put them on, storming out of his room. Sergio sighed and grabbed his friends key and closed the door before following him. 

The Uruguayan was as white as a sheet of paper when Sergio had caught up to him. The younger one was looking at the tables frantically. Tears were pooling in his eyes. Sergio asked the waitress, maybe someone from the staff had stashed it away safely. Federico crumpled to the floor when Sergio shook his head at him. 

They went back to the apartment. 

Fede was crying while sitting on the bed. How could he have been so stupid to forget his art block at a cafe, that was full of drawings of his crush that out of all people was the uni football captain. How could he have been so stupid not to notice ?? Sergio was rubbing his back in comfort. Literary everyone could have the block. 

"Fede it's going to be ok. We will find it."

If it were some insigificant drawings Fede wouldn't freak out now. Those were portraits of Javi fucking Sanchez. How would it ever be ok ?? The whole uni would mock and ridicule him. Javi would probably laugh at him. 

I want to die please kill me, he signs to Sergio who narrows his eyes in confusion and shakes his head.

"Fede what were you drawing ?? It can't be that bad please."

His friend curled up on the bed and cried even harder. 

"Fede don't tell me there are drawings of him in there…"

The Uruguayan didn't answer but it was answer enough for Sergio. Fuck. Ok this was bad. Like really bad. Whoever had the block would use it to hurt his friend, Sergio wouldn't let that happen. He'd rather beat everyone up and risk getting suspended from University. He rubbed Fedes back in comfort until the other finally fell asleep. Covering him with a blanket before exciting.

He fished his phone out of his pocket.

"Guys we have a problem a big problem I need your help right now please. It's about Fede."

Sergio went to the bus station and waited for the others to arrive. He asked himself if Javi knew. If he had known all along. Their captain had always been fair. He had never mocked nor underestimated an opponent nor had he ever said a bad word against any of them. The bus arriving snapped Sergio out of his thoughts.

"Regui what is going on hermano ?? Is Fede ok ?? Did someone hurt him ?? Do we need to hurt someone ??"

Sergio held his hand out to stop Cristo from bombarding him with questions. Taking a deep breath Sergio explain what had happened.

"Wait, Fede is in love with Capi ??"

Sergio facepalmed himself.

"Guys por favor we have to find that block or I will have beef with the whole university I swear."

All of them split but their chances of finding the block if a person had it were very slim. Still Sergio would search until night came he didn't care. If any of those bastards would mock Fede tomorrow in the morning he would even set the damn building on fire if he had to. As expected none of them find the block. 

"We are sorry Regui there was nothing."

Sergios shoulders slumped. Damnit. It was already late and they had a class early in the morning. All of them needed to go to sleep. The most important match of the saison was in 4 days great. With a sigh the group scattered and went home. Sergio had texted Fede to check up on him. His friend was probably asleep. 

Sergio really hoped that he wouldn't have to go up against the whole school. He would if he had to.

Fede had curled up into a ball and was sobbing and crying. How could he have been so stupid ?? Everything was his own fault. Everything. He had taken up drawing and doodling as a form of stress reliever. Since the incident in high school he had, had nothing to help him cope. He still had nightmares about it. His mother insisted that he could talk. She had pushed him and pushed him and pushed him until Federico had eventually broken.

Sergios family had taken him in for a while until Fede could afford to rent a room on campus. He owed Sergio a lot and he loved him like a brother. Of course he had started to miss his mother who wouldn't but she didn't understand that his muteness came from a traumatic event she probably would never understand it. Fede curled around in bed. The block was still in his mind.

Sergio and the others were waiting for Federico at the usual spot, their friend didn't come. Sergio wrote him a message and before they could enter their class he was stopped by a hand on his elbow. 

"Capi what can I do for you ??"

"Can we talk there is something you need to have."

Sergio turned towards the others and told them to go ahead. Javi lead him to a staircase both of them hiding behind it before Javi unzipped his backpack and handed him a block. Fedes block.

"Did you steal it from him ?? Where have you gotten that ?? Did you look inside ??"

Sergio was pushing at his captains chest but Javi remained incredibly calm. 

"Relax Sergio. He forgot it at the cafe when those bullies threatened to burn it. I have no idea what I said but he was uncomfortable and left. He forgot the block on the table. I thought I could hand it to you so it can be returned safely."

Sergio narrowed his eyes suspiciously. 

"You didn't peak inside ??"

Javi shook his head. "Listen my class starts I have to leave we can continue with this discussion at practise." With that Javi shouldered his bag and hurried down the hall.

Sergio released a breathe he had been holding and sneaked inside prof. Benitez class. The others had reserved him a seat. Fede hadn't reacted to his message which worried him greatly. They had practise in the afternoon and no free hours in between. So he couldn't even go and check on Fede.

Marcos nudged him in the side and rose an eyebrow at the block in Sergios hands.

"Javi returned it to me."

Even Cristo who was focused on his phone narrowed his eyes confused. Luca and Alvaro looked at eachother while Sergio just shrugged. Sergio didn't think that Javi was lying he had no reason to. He still wanted to know if their captain had said the truth about not peaking inside. Federico never wrote back. 

All of them went to practise, Javi was talking to some of their newer teammates who had recently joined them. Sergio tied up his boots and stretched his body like a cat. Then he looked around the dressing room. Marco was dangling his legs next to him impatiently. Alvaro yawned and Cristo was handing Luca his gloves, who in return gave him a small smile. Marcos was checking his phone before stashing it away in his backpack.

Javis voice made Sergio snap out of his thoughts. He always motivated them before every saison. The next game would bring them into the finals. That's what all of them wanted. Their rivals Atletico were their opponents and were one of the strongest at this time. They had even kicked out Barcas youth team in the quarter finals who were said to be the favourites to win the championship this year. 

Javi patted all of them on the back before they left the cabin. Sergios mind was on Fede though. The worry for his friend and brother outweighting the thoughts of a potential win against Atletico. Football was important to him but his friends were even more important. Fede was his brother, he was family. Sergio was biting his lower lip when he was nudged in the ribs. He expected it to be one of the guys but it was Javi.

"You wanted to talk ?? Lets talk now then. Everyone else is busy with chatting anyway."

Sergio was unsure of what to think really. He knew how their captain was. He wasn't mean or arrogant or anything. If he said he hadn't looked at the pictures then it probably was the truth. Sergio still had the urge to protect his friend. Not that Fede couldn't defend himself he could. Sergio knew he could. 

"I told you I didn't peak inside and I mean it ok. But I know that he is in love with me."

Sergio halted aprubtly. His breathe caught in his throat. He narrowed his eyes dangerously but he couldn't make a scene at practise. He breathed out slowly through his nose.

"How do you know that ??"

"People from a group project I have to take part of are responsible for Federicos ruined drawings. The only girl in our group gossips about everything. That's what they told me."

Sergio would kill them and hide their damn bodies.

"I usually don't pay attention to gossip and I don't care. Half the school is interested in me. I am not interested in any of them. If it is true that your friend likes me I don't have a problem with it really. I mean I don't have a problem with you guys either. Luca and Cristo well they aren't that good at hiding it."

Sergio had opened his mouth to say something but before he could say anything Javi spoke again.

"I don't mind really. Love is love. Is it true that the drawings were about me though ??"

Sergio swallowed hard.

"If you are interested in that you have to ask Fede yourself capi. I have nothing to say about that ok. If you want to befriend him that's fine but if you hurt him I am going to bury you in the woods."

Javi laughed softly and patted Sergios shoulder as they finished their last lap. The boys grabbed Sergio by the elbow and asked him about his chat with Javi. Sergio only hoped that Fede had replied or felt better. At least a little bit. There were no messages on his phone and Sergio sighed.

"Whats on your mind hermano ??"

Sergio looked up from his phone which pinged as soon as he wanted to reply to Alvaro. A soft smile danced on Sergios lips. He had missed his boyfriend, he really had. Brahim was currently busy with finishing his senior year and both of them didn't have a lot of time to see eachother. They would meet up on the weekend. 

"Sorry Brahim told me he is free this weekend so I have a date. I wanted to go to Fedes and check on him."

Marco chirrped in.

"We could go together amd see of he wants some company ??"

Sergio smiled softly. The boys loved Fede as much as he did and it made Sergios heart swell. They knocked on Fedes door but the other never opened it. Luca squeezed Sergios shoulder in comfort who hung his head. 

"Maybe we can gift him a box with stuff so it makes him feel better ??"

Sergio hugged Alvaro tightly patting his cheek and laughing.

"You are a genius Álvarito a genius."

All of them scattered and met in front of the cafe they always met in the morning. Putting all the items in the box when Javi approached them. He held out an envelope towards Sergio who took it hesitantly and eyed it in suspicion.

"I overheard about the care gift box for Federico I hope I can explain myself with the letter if you would put it in for me aswell."

Sergio took it and handed it to Alvaro.

"You know I have no bad intentions Sergio. I never meant to hurt him and since he won't hear me out at least I hope I can apologize that way."

Javi shouldered his bag and left. The others looking at Sergio then at eachother and then back at Sergio, who sighed and nodded. All of them going to Federicos apartment and ringing the bell. Their friend didn't react to that.

"Fede there is a little something from all of us. We will see you tomorrow. We love you hermano.

Fede had stared at the wall before him. His shoulder tense. He didn't want anyone to worry about him. He already felt bad for making everyone worry. Wiping away his tears he got up from the bed and opened the door slightly. A black box sitting on his mat. Fede picked it up and carried it inside, switching on the light.

Carefully he inspected the inside of the box. He placed the bottle of water and the sandwich on his bed. Inside were also a new drawing block and new drawing pencils. A book. Harry Potter and the Sorcerers stone. A wrapped gift and an envelope. 

Carefully Federico unwrapped the gift and nearly cried out in happiness. Clutching his art block to his chest and letting the tears roll down his cheeks. There was a note in the book which was obviously from Cristo.

"Return it when you are finished and I'll give you the next part. Enjoy hermano <3"

Fede smiled softly he had the best friends in the world. Carefully he picked up the envelope and opened it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sergio makes Fede realize that not everything is as black as he paints it to be.

Fedes hand was shaking as he sat on the bed, envelope still in hand. He turned it around to see from whom it was but there was no name written on the white envelope. Fede decided to eat the sandwich first as his stomach began grumbling. The envelope was placed on his crumpled pillow for the time being. 

Carefully Federico unwrapped the cheese and ham sandwich and chewed it slowly. He would haven't eaten the whole day if it had been up to him. No one would have noticed anyway. His mother surely wouldn't have. But he had friends like Regui and the others who cared about him. Fede drowned the bottle of water and threw it in the bin that sat next to his desk.

He sat on the bed again. His hands were shaking as he carefully opened the snow white envelope. Fede sat the empty envelope on his pillow and turned the white sheet of paper around in his hand. If Sergio wanted to tell him something he would have wrote him a message on his phone. And all of the other guys wouldn't write him an old fashioned letter either. Federico had someone in mind but he shook his head quickly, at the thought. 

He would only know who wrote him the letter if he stopped being a coward and opened it. Carefully Fede unfolded the piece of paper.

Dear Federico,

I wanted to apologize for whatever I did or said that prompted you to leave the cafe in a hurry that day. I am truly sorry. You forgot your block on the table but I think your friends must have returned it to you. I actually wanted to return it personally but apparently I have done something to upset you. 

Don't worry I didn't peak but I am sure your drawings are magnificent. Since you declined my offer of me showing you the pitch I hope that you would be up for drinking a hot chocolate again ?? If you feel uncomfortable and say no I would completely understand. 

To be honest I have wanted to speak to you for a while but I was shy and kind of afraid. I was worried that you would think it was a dare or something. It isn't I am just a bit shy. Yeah I know I am the uni football captain and stuff. Anyway I hope that we will be able to meet and drink a hot chocolate again. I am so sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.

Javi S.

Federico stared at the letter for a good minute or so. Javi Sanchez shy ?? That guy could have the whole school and he had been shy to talk to HIM ?? A freak who couldn't even talk ?? Was this some kind of cruel joke ?? Because if it was it wasn't funny. At all. Carefully Fede placed the letter inside of the envelope again and set it on his desk. He had no idea what to think of this. He grabbed his art block and flipped through the pages. Every page was marked with a date. For months he hadn't drawn anyone or anything else than Javi Sanchez. 

Fede knew this wasn't some kind of crush that would go away. He was in love with that guy and he was sure the whole university knew. Couldn't he have fallen for anyone else ?? There were plenty of people running around. No it had to be the uni football captain. He always had to go for the impossible. Fede bit his lower lip hard to suppress a sob. He wouldn't cry because of Javi Sanchez. He wouldn't.

Fede cried. He curled around in bed and cried like a baby. He had a sudden urge to destroy the drawings. Maybe he should have let those bullies burn them. Free him of this burden. He was pathetic. Drawing someone who wasn't even interested in him. Furiously Fede wiped away his tears and grabbed the art block, Sergio and the others had put so much effort into finding, and threw it in the bin.

He was a fool. Carefully he unwrapped the new block and the new pencil box, switching on the light on his desk. He started scribbling and drawing without even noticing. He wasn't aiming for anything specific he just needed to calm down. He just needed distraction. He looked at the drawing and choked.

Of course he had drawn Javi again. The other had his hands on his hips. His prefectly styled hair was messed up by the rain and had fallen in his face. A small smile graced his lips. Federico wanted to rip the drawing into pieces. But he wasn't like that. He started doodling around Javi. Drawing the pitch and a goal and a ball and…

A knock on the door made Federico jerk. His drawing was stuck to his cheek and Fede peeled it off carefully. The drawing was still ok. Making Federico sigh in relief. A voice on the other end made him look up.

"Fede open the door. Are you ok ?? We are going to be late."

With slight panic Fede sprang up from his chair and opened the door to reveal Sergio. His best friend had a hand on his bag strap. Fede let him in and hurried into the bathroom, glancing at the clock on his desk. Fuck he had overslept. That meant no hot chocolate for him. 

Sergio stretched his legs and dropped his bag on Federicos unmade bed. His eyes fixing a sheet of paper on his friends desk. The pencils were scattered around it. Carefully Sergio picked it up and squeezed his eyes shut. Of course Fede had drawn Javi. It was a good drawing and from the date his friend had drawn it from memory. It looked amazing. Sergio heard Fede shuffle in the bathroom, thats when he noticed Fedes other block in the bin.

Carefully Sergio removed it from the bin and dusted it off, flipping through the pages. Of course it was full of drawings from his captain like Sergio had suspected. Thats when the door to the bathroom opened and Sergio put the block on the desk. Federico was hurrying through the room. Putting on socks and clothes. Out of habit and instinct he grabbed his new block and shoved it into his bag.

Both Sergio and Federico left. Hurrying through the campus complex to their class where the others were waiting. 

"Ahh so you found sleeping beauty", Marcos said with a grin which prompted Alvaro to slap the back of his head lightly. Luca handed Fede a sandwich and Marco held out a steaming paper cup in Fedes direction. For the first time since that incident with Javi, Fede genuinely smiled. He really loved his friends.

"Did you like the book-"

"Guys we have to go now or Guardiola will have our heads."

Everyone nodded and they hurried to their class. Fede sipping on his drink carefully while listening to Guardiola. Cristo was playing a game next to him, while Luca took notes which his boyfriend was allowed to copy. Marco and Marcos were whispering to eachother, while Alvaro flipped through the course book. Sergio had slung an arm around Fedes shoulder and was trying to surpress a yawn. 

Sergio rose his eyebrows as a block with paper was shoved under his nose.

You were so worried you didn't sleep right ?? I am sorry I didn't mean to make you worry. I am ok now.

After having seen the drawings Sergio wasn't so sure that Fede was truly ok but he wasn't one to push and his friend had always come around eventually. Sergio could be patient with him. He asked himself what Javi had written in his letter. Speaking of Javi, their captain was sitting a few rows before them. Flanked by a group of girls, who had clearly invaded his space but the older one was just scribbling on his paper.

Guardiolas lessons were the most boring and the guy spoke so slowly one would fall asleep. Not even Fede could listen to him for a long period of time. 2 hours were torture. Literal torture. Marcos was snoozing. Alvaro had hidden himself behind his book. Cristo was also snoozing and Luca was half asleep supporting his head on his palm. Fede was doodling. He had captured each of their friends while they died of boredom.

Sergio stretched his arm that threatened to fall asleep. Guardiolas lessons always felt like a lifetime. Sergio forced himself to stay awake although his eyes were burning when a paper was shoved under his nose. A drawing.

Him and Brahim.

Sergios heart melted at that and he kissed Federicos head. 

"Gracias amigo I am sure Brahim will like it too. I will make sure to frame it and then I will send you a picture."

Federico smiled satisfied. The hour was still long and he was bored. He had to make sure to throw away his newest drawing of Javi. He hadn't intented to draw him but Javi was everywhere. He couldn't just fall out of love with him like that. He could distance himself and try not to think about him. He needed to burn the letter too. The only thing Federico couldn't do was avoid him when they had a class together.

Fede was poked in the ribs thats when he realized that Guardiolas class was finally over and the class was scattering. His eyes locked with Javis when Fede wanted to look as the blackboard. A shiver ran down his spine and he closed his eyes and shook his head. When he reopened them again Javi was gone. 

Right they had Mous class together. Fede had tried to ignore that fact. 

"Guys are you alive ??"

Five heads turned around and all of them looked like they had to endure the worst torture in the history of tortures. Well Alvaro looked decent all the others well they looked like they had been to hell and back. Sergio laughed softly and all of them accompanied Fede to his class since they had to go in the same direction anyway.

Javi was waiting in front of Mous class.

"Guys go on ahead I have something to discuss with Fede, yes ??"

Federico turned around and cocked his head at Sergio confused. His best friend had his arms crossed over his chest and arched an eyebrow. One hand squeezed Fedes shoulder.

"Hermano I know you are trying to tell yourself that it's not worth asking Javi. That it's not worth it. He wouldn't have made the effort to return the block and write you a letter if he had any ill intentions. Believe me I asked him too. I know you are scared of rejection. I understand that but maybe you two could just try to interact somehow ?? I hate seeing you miserable and don't try to deny it I saw your drawing. When you are hurt you go out on defense which is fine but I can't see you destroy yourself. Yes, there are mean people in this world. There are people who don't understand but you have always been someone with a big heart. You have the biggest heart. If he makes you feel uncomfortable you just tell him no and that's it. I just want you to be happy-"

"Regui we are going to be late for class come on."

Sergio squeezed Federicos shoulder and winked at him before he hurried towards the others and down the hall. Federico sighed loudly, Javi was still waiting for him. The insecurity in his heart prevented him from truly trusting Javi. He was the problem, not Javi. He was terrified of the rejection and of the backlash. He was afraid Javi would laugh at him and make fun of him. Like all the others had done before. He was just the freak.

Javi gave him a small smile before opening the door for Fede who nodded in thanks and slipped inside. He sat in a row that was empty and put the sandwich the boys had bought him on the table.

"You don't mind if I sit with you ??"

A thousand thoughts were running around in Fedes head. Should he say yes or no ?? He had no idea. His fucking crush was conversing with him and Fede was sure he was redder than a tomato. In the end he managed to nod slightly and Javi plopped down next to him. That's when Federico realized that he couldn't draw. Well he could but he couldn't draw Javi.

Right he had wanted to stop drawing Javi. 

Said crush was looking through his notes from Mourinhos previous lesson. Rubbing his face in frustration and sighing. Carefully Fede pushed his block with notes towards him. Javi raised his eyebrows and looked at him confused.

For comparison.

"Thank you. I really need this class for my final exam but I don't really enjoy it and I have been struggling a bit. I think this will be my worst class really."

Javi had his head in his hands and was sighing. Fede patted his shoulder gently and scribbled something on his block.

I can help you with translating but I would like a hot chocolate in return.

Javi raised his eyebrows and then he smiled gently.

"Deal."

Sergio was right. Nothing would happen if he didn't at least try. He needed to thank his best friend later.

"Hey are you going to be there at practise to watch ?? The game against Atletico is in two days I think your friends would be happy about your support."

There had been a small spark of happiness which vanished instantly. Football, he really missed playing it sometimes. It had been so long. Too long. Images flashed across Federicos naked eye. He couldn't breathe all of a sudden. His chest constricted and he coughed miserably. A hand on his shoulder made him flinch. He heard a voice but it seemed so far away.

"Professor may I escort Federico to the medical room I think he feels unwell."

Mourinho rolled his eyes but nodded. 

Javi had packed their things and had gripped Federicos shoulder to steady him when they descended the stairs. Federico was sat on a bench and after few minutes a cold bottle of water was shoved in his hands. A hand was on his knee the other was squeezing his shoulder. Javi had crouched down in front of him and was talking to him slowly. Federico couldn't make out the words. 

Instinctively he signed thank you in sign language. Of course Javi looked at him confused. He scribbled it on his block.

"You had me worried. Does it happen often ??"

Fede looked up from the nearly empty bottle in his hand.

"The panic attacks. Do they happen often ??"

Fede shrugged. They happened sometimes. When he was sad or stressed out. Or when he thought about what happened all those years ago. With shaky hands Federico was searching through his bag, his block fell on the floor prompting Javi to pick it up, just to be greeted with a picture of himself.

Fedes eyes were wide in fear and he was prepared for the mocks and insults. His lip quivered and the first tears made their way down his cheeks. He was a fool. A gentle hand squeezed his shoulder making Federico look up.

"This is beautiful."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fede and Javi have an eventful afternoon together.

Fede blinked at Javi a few times, still expecting his crush to laugh at him or mock him. Nothing happened. Javi smiled gently and returned the block which Fede grabbed with shaky fingers and shoved it in the depths of his bag. Javi sat next to him and for a long time neither of them talked, Fede wanted to run as far away as he could and just hide somewhere.

"Hey I know our deal was that you get a hot chocolate for helping me with translations but…"

Federico drew in a sharp breath. But what ?? What was the other going to say now ?? But everything had been a dare. But everything was just a joke. But you are a freak and I don't even want to speak to you. The panic bubbled up in Federicos chest again. He didn't feel comfortable. He flinched away from the hand that tried to grip his shoulder.

"But I would like to go drink one now if you don't mind ??"

Oh. OH. 

Federico tried to control his ragged breathing and his racing heart. He managed to nod slightly avoiding Javis eyes. Javi got up and offered him is hand which Fede took and both of them shouldered their bags and began walking out of the building and to the cafe on campus.

"Javi. We love you."

A group of girls flooded them and Federico hunched his shoulders. He hated too many people. The girls were in Javis personal and speaking to him. A girl had gripped his arm and the other was in his face. Thats when they spotted Federico who was staring at his feet.

"What are you doing with Javi, freak ?? He is not interested in you. He isn't one of THEM. Disgusting sissy. That's why you don't talk because you like-"

That's when Javi ripped himself away from them. His face calm as ever. His voice was so cold and sharp it could slice through something.

"Ladies."

The girls looked up to him and batted their eyelashes. Making kissy faces in Javis reaction.

"I think you should leave now ladies."

The groups face fell collectively. They looked at eachother on disbelief. They gripped Javis arms again and whined like small children. Groupies…

"I am not interested in any of you ladies I have tried to be polite but you are crossing a line. Apologize to Federico and I will think about not reporting you to the headmaster."

The group leader or the one Javi assumed was the group leader snarled at him furiously.

"You are protecting the freak. You are nothing without us."

Javi threw his head back and laughed.

"Wrong. Let me tell you something ladies, YOU are nothing without me or the team because you don't have anyone to gossip about. Apologize to Federico and leave."

The group huffed and whispered a measly sorry directed towards Federico who was looking at Javi wide-eyed. His breath catching in his throat. No one apart from Sergio or the guys had ever done that for him.

"Federico ?? Are you alright ??"

Fede nodded hastily he wanted to cry and hug Javi. But maybe he was just doing it for the attention. The heroic uni football captain who helped out the freak. It was probably that. Fede wouldn't think it meant anything. But it had been nice nonetheless and Fede held out his block with a "thank you" and Javi grabbed his hand and squeezed it briefly. Fedes heart skipped a beat. He was sure he was redder than a tomato by now. 

He shook his head, Javi wasn't interested in him that way. They made their way to the cafe and Javi pointed to a table that was in the farest corner and Fede nodded in agreement. They ordered their hot choclates and Javi checked his tablet for Mourinhos class to look up their next homework.

"You know if Mou could he would give us a damn book to translate and he wouldn't have to show up at uni at all. If he hates it so much why did he become a professor ??"

Federico shrugged. He didn't understand either. Javi pulled up their next homework and put a dictonary on the table while Fede searched for a pen inside of his bag. That's when their drinks arrived. Fede was about to pay his own chocolate when Javi grabbed his arm lightly and shook his head.

"I offered you the chocolate I am going to pay it. Next time you can pay it."

Javi smiled at him and Fede was sure he was going to faint.

Thank you.

Both of them worked in silence when Javi pushed his block towards Federico to compare with him. He sighed when his translation turned out to be different. Fede grabbed the dictionary and flipped through the pages to show Javi where had found his translation. The other nodded and scribbled it on his block. 

After a while Javi stretched and yawned.

"I need a break. Would you like a sandwich ??"

Fede was about to shake his head when his stomach grumbled. The only thing he had eaten had been the sandwich the others had given him in the morning.

Javi gave him a smile.

"What kind of sandwich would you like ??"

Fede shook his head. He felt embarrassed enough. He didn't need pity or anything. Maybe he should leave but he couldn't run away again. If he just could talk. It would make things easier. Fede had tried talking. He had tried with Sergio. No sound had escaped his mouth.

His mother had forced him to talk. He had even hit him in an attempt to make him make a sound. Fede had only whimpered. He had wanted to tell her to stop but he couldn't. She hadn't had any patience with him. She had never asked him what had happened. She had never made an attempt to learn sign language because she didn't need it and she was too old to learn it. She hadn't tried to understand that something was wrong and that Fede wasn't doing it for attention or faking it.

A hand on his shoulder made Fede jerk away. He had gotten lost in his own head again. He was alone most of the time with his demons. The others had lives too. Fede was glad they even wanted to spend time with him. He had always thought that he was a burden to Sergio but his best friend had never complained. He had always been so supportive. Maybe it was the guilt that was keeping Sergio by his side. The guilt of not having been able to help Fede that day.

"Federico are you alright ?? Do you want me to bring you home ??"

Fede shook his head. It was nice spending time with Javi even if it was just learning together. It was ok. Fede knew he had no chance and he had to accept that. It had been nice of Javi to defend him but Fede was delusional if he thought that they could ever be a thing.

"Look who it is princess Valverde and his knight in shining armor Javier Sanchez."

Javi whirled around and Fede wanted to disappear. He just wanted to get away. Far, far away. This had been a bad idea. He should have declined that's what he got for having his hopes up. Even of Javi had defended him, he would never be interested in him.

"Look at you freak are you enjoying your lovers company. I bet he fucks you good."

The other tumbled to the floor and blood was dripping down Javis knuckles. He grabbed the bully and pushed his face on the table keeping him there with his arm.

"Say that again I am warning you. Say that damn word again."

"I bet he fucks you good."

Javis voice was low and it send shivers down Federicos spine. His breath was hot against the bullies ear.

"The other word", Javi warned.

"Freak."

Javi literally threw the bully out of the cafe. Packing his books into his bag and slinging it across his shoulder. He held a hand out to Federico and his eyes were soft. They exited the cafe together and Javi slung an arm around his shoulders protectively. Fede was sure his heart was going to jump out of his chest. Javi had defended him again.

"Sorry about that I just can't stand people like that. No one deserves to be called a freak. You will have your reasons for not talking and I respect that."

Fede was incredibly worried. He didn't want Javi to get into trouble because of him. He was not worth it. 

"I'll bring you to your dorm I don't want those fuckers to hurt you because I told them to stay away."

Like Javi promised he brought him to his dorm. To his door actually. 

"I am sorry but I think we will repeat our learning sessions unless you feel uncomfortable and say no I would understand. Oh before I forget. Would you like to exchange numbers so that we can make out a time maybe it would be better to learn together on the weekends where most of the other students are at home ??"

Javi fucking Sanchez wanted his number ?!?! Fede thought he was going to faint right then and there. On the other hand Fede was insecure what if all of this was just a scam to make him feel safe ?? What if they would corner him and beat him to death or something.

"Shit sorry I didn't mean making you uncomfortable. If you don't want to give me your number that's totally fine. I just thought you'd feel more at ease writing. Sorry about that. I am sure we will run into eachother in the next days and can make up a time like that. Oh will you come to the game on friday ??"

Fede hadn't thought about friday. Right. The game against Atletico. How could he have forgotten that. It would be a difficult game. He needed to support Sergio and the others. With shaky fingers Fede fished out his phone from his pants and held it out to Javi who smiled brightly, typing in his number.

Fedes phone pinged and a Hola appeared on his screen. 

"I will see you tomorrow then Federico. I am sorry about the incidents. Hopefully we won't be disturbed on the weekends. Thank you for entrusting me with your number I will make sure to keep it safe."

Fede unlocked the door to his room, closed it behind himself and just breathed. It had been a fairly eventful day. His phone pinged when Fede was preparing to take a shower. His heart was beating in his chest. It was Sergio and Fede breathed out. Even of he had Javis number didn't mean the other would text him. Fede had to be realistic. Javi just needed his help to pass that class they wouldn't be bffs or anything. 

Shaking his head Federico stepped into the shower and let the warm water run down his body. He was sure his heart was going to jump out of his chest. He had Javis and they had talked to eachother. Well Javi had talked to him and had defended him. Maybe it was a dream. It had to be a dream. There was no way that it had really happened. Javi wasn't interested in him just in his help. Fede had to make his peace with it. But he had listened to Sergio and now…

Sergio and the others asked him where he had been. There were instances where Fede reallty wanted to be able to talk again. Everytime he tried to talk it was like his throat was made out of sandpaper. It was scratchy and raw and his vocal cords were probably rusty from not being used for years. Maybe Fede would never be able to talk ever again. He hadn't been to a doctor or anything. His mother hadn't deemed it necessary. 

A cold shiver ran down his spine and Fede grabbed some jogging pants and a hoodie and cocooned himself in his blanket, Cristos book in hand. His hood was over his still slightly damp hair. Fede had never gotten around to read Harry Potter but Cristo talked a lot about it and it had peaked his interest. It was very kind of Cristo to lend him his precious book. His phone pinging made him look up from the page he was reading.

'Hola it's me Javi. Damn of course you know it's me I gave you my number. Ignore the first part sorry about that. 🙈 Do you feel better ?? You seemed distraught earlier. Understandably so.'

Fede blinked at his screen for a full minute. 

'I am ok thank you for defending me you didn't have to. It was very nice though.'

Federico gulped and looked at the top of the screen where it said that Javi was writing.

'I didn't lie about being a bit shy of talking to you. I didn't want you to think that I was just talking to you because of a dare or something. It's always easier writing such things than saying them in person. I didn't lie about the drawings either. I know you might think I am just pretending to care but I am not. Your drawings are amazing. I feel honored that you would draw me out of all people.'

They wrote back and forth for a while. Fede was suprisingly calm. It was nice this way just writing.

'Buenas noches pajarito azul. 🐦'

Federicos heart skipped a beat. The others would call him pajarito. Well Sergio did that a lot. How did Javi know about it though. Fedes heart was beating like mad when he clutched the phone to his chest. He was happy. For the first time in so long he was happy. About Javi talking to him. About the pajaro reference. About their hot chocolate date.

It had been a date right ??

With a content smile and feeling happier than ever Fede fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unspoken words can lead to misunderstandings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter didn't really turn out how I had envisioned it. I still hope you'll like it bro. I am so sorry if not. 🙈🙈🙈

Fede sighed softly as his alarm went off. He had dreamt of Javi which was no surprise after the eventful day they had, had. The alarm continued and Federico switched it off, squinting his eyes at the bright screen. He had a message. Maybe it was Sergio reminding him to come to the game. Federico hadn't forgotten. He had always gone to see the games. And supported his friends of course. He knew how important the next win was.

The message wasn't from Sergio though. That's when Fede remembered that Sergio didn't have the morning class with him today. It was thursday, they would see eachother later. Federico wanted to see his friend now, though. He wanted to tell him about the other day. 

'Buenas dias pajarito azul. 🐦😊 I hope you slept well. Sorry you are probably still asleep or something I didn't mean to bother you. I have a morning class and I would rather continue sleeping. 😂 I hope that we will see eachother throughout the day if not I hope you will be at the game. 😉 Have a good day. 😊'

Fede clutched the phone to his chest. He could feel his face heat up. Biting his lower lip Fedes head was working and he thought about replying back. The mornings on his own were the worst to be honest. None of the guys had an 8:30 class on Thursday and since Javi was offering maybe they could spend some time together ??

You are going to get hurt Federico, his head mocked him. Maybe it really was just a scheme. Maybe it was a game to humiliate him. Shaking his head Fede breathed, just breathed. Even if it was a game he was a grown up he would handle it or maybe not. He couldn't just hide like a child. With a shaky breathe, Fede began typing.

'Good morning. 😄 Don't worry I also have a morning class. The guys are still asleep. If you want we can go grab a hot chocolate and this time I am paying. 😉'

Fede stretched his legs and threw his phone on his pillow before he made his way to the bathroom. The weatherforecast had said that it would start snowing, which wouldn't be good for Sergio and the others. Fede got dressed and checked his bag. Right he still had his block inside. Maybe he should leave it on his desk. He could draw Javi at practise later though. With a sigh grabbed his bag and a gray beanie before exciting his room.

He was greeted with a thin layer of snow. Great. Couldn't it have snowed a few days later ?? In a few weeks they would have 2 weeks off for Christmas. Sergio would probably invite him for dinner at his family's house. Federico had thought about staying at the dorms. He didn't want to bother his friend. 

'I'll wait for you in front of the cafe 🐦'

Federico couldn't help but blush at the nickname. Thankfully it was cold and so he could blame it on the weather if Javi asked. It still seemed surreal. That Javi was talking to him, maybe he was really dreaming. If it was a dream it was a damn good one and Fede would feel ok. He didn't want it to be a dream, though. A voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Federico."

Javi was waving and Fede buried his face in his scarf. He was sure he looked like dwarf. Javi smiled at him and Fede smiled back. His heart doing flips in his chest. Good thing that hearts couldn't jump out of chests or Fedes would have done so. The air in the cafe was warm and Fede wanted to go back to his warm bed. 

Thankfully the cafe was fairly empty since most students didn't go out in this cold. Javi unwrapped the thick scarf from his neck and placed it on the table. His bag was slung over the chair. Fede rubbed his hands together to get his blood circulation on again. He had forgotten his gloves at home. The thought of seeing Javi had excited him so much. 

"You look good Federico. I am happy you could come. I am alone most of the time. Which I don't mind really. But it's nice drinking something with a friend."

Fede was sure he was as red as a tomato and that he would faint any moment now.

Friends ?? They were friends ?? 

Fedes train of thoughts was interrupted by the waitress that was waiting for their order. She batted her eyelashes at Javi, who gave her their order. Fede looked at his hands. Yeah, right they were only friends. The mood shifted and Fede didn't really want to be here anymore. This was the most popular guy in the school, Fede was a fool to get his hopes up. There were no hopes. Maybe it had been a mistake to give Javi his number. 

"Federico are you alright ??"

Yes, I am just tired, Fede lied scribbling it on his block. 

"Did I do anything to make you uncomfortable ??"

Fede shook his head. It had been a mistake. Fede knew his head was playing tricks on him. That Javi had no ill intentions. He was in love with this guy but it didn't mean that Fede shouldn't think rationally.

Why did you say that you were lonely ?? Shouldn't you have a lot of friends ??

Javi looked up from his glass and sighed. 

"Being the uni football captain people only want to be friends with you because you are exactly that, the uni football captain. They just want to be in this exclusive group and I never liked excluding someone or being the centre of attention. I didn't even want to be the uni football captain, Sergio should have been the one but here I am. There are a lot of people you can't trust."

Why aren't you hanging out with Sergio and the others then ??

Javi breathed in deeply.

"Because of you."

Fedes eyes widened and he felt his throat constrict. He couldn't breathe all of a sudden. The insults would start, Fede knew. He had always known. He was a fool to think that this guy was different because he was his crush. Fede got up while tears streamed down his face.

"Woah, whoa Federico what is going on ?? Wait I wanted to explain myself."

Fede wanted to scream at him. What was there to explain anyway ??

"I meant I knew that you have feelings for me and I didn't want to seem unsensible by hanging out with you guys. I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable so I kept my distance and interacted with Sergio and the others at practise exclusively. I promise you it wasn't about you but about me."

Fede had sat down again. His whole frame shaking. Javi locked eyes with him and grabbed his hand to give it a gentle squeeze. Taking a few breathes Federico calmed down enough to take a sip out of his hot chocolate. Furiously he scribbled on his block.

Is this a joke ?? Are you here to play with me ?? Just tell me so I can get out of your hair. I have no intention of being used or humiliated.

Something in Javis face changed and he let go of Federicos hand. 

"I see. You thought I was using you. I understand that. I really do. I am sorry I made you feel that way. I really am. Everything I wrote in that letter is true. I am sorry. I still hope you will be at the game to support your friends they need you."

Javi got up and shouldered his bag. This was going to be a long day and he had to be fit for tomorrow. Fede was like frozen on his chair. Maybe he shouldn't have reacted like that. He felt like douche. He also felt bad for Javi. As much as Fede couldn't talk he had at least some friends. He had never seen Javi hang out with anyone to be honest. In class he always sat on his own. Apart when girls would swarm him. He had also seen him at the library or cafe on his own.

Javi had some other classes with them but Fede hadn't seen him. He also had no intention of talking to Sergio about it. His best friend sensing that something was wrong. Fede felt bad for having said those things. Marcos and Luca were talking about the game.

"We are gonna kick their asses."

Sergio sighed dramatically.

"Never underestimate the opponnent pollito you know how this works."

Marco had slung an arm around Marcos shoulders and Alvaro was ruffling the blonds hair playfully, making Marcos shove him away and fix his ruined hair. A phone pinged in Marcos pants and he smiled widly and replied. Luca and Marco trying to peak over their friends shoulder but Marcos turned away and tucked his phone back into his pants.

"Do you have a girl or boyfriend we know nothing about pollito ?? You have a cruuuuusssshhhh. Tell us. Tell us. Pooooor favor."

Marcos ignored them and headed towards their next class. Luca and Marco asking Marcos about his mysterious lover. Sergio sideglanced Fede who was looking at his feet, his shoulders slumped. He felt horrible. Javi had genuinely sounded hurt. Speaking of Javi, the captain had sat in the last row and was focused on his sheet of paper.

"Fede where is your head, come on."

Maybe Federico wasn't better than all those other bullies. The class had started to fill and prof Ancelotti talked about their next topic. Fede was biting his lower lip, his fingers hovering over the message icon. 

'Hi. I am sorry about this morning. I will come and watch the game tomorrow. Maybe we could talk about it. Or you talk and I write.'

Fede was scared to look at the reply if he was honest but he had fucked up and it was his responsibility to clean his own mess.

The class ended fairly eventless. Marcos was glued to his phone and giggled like a pre-schooler while Marco and Luca still tried to get their friend to tell them who he was chatting with. It was ridiculous to be honest. The guys parted ways and Sergio accompanied Fede to his dorm. The game would be at 12 so those who had early classes had to go to those. 

"You are going to be at the game right ??"

Fede nodded. He wanted to tell Sergio about the incident with Javi but his friend had to focus on the match. Plus he would go home over the weekend to meet up with Brahim. Everyone was going home. Except for him. He usually stayed on campus. 

'Despite everything I still hope you will be at the game parajito azul. 🐦 Your friends need you. Buenas noches. I promise I will leave you alone and delete your number.'

The last sentence was like a knife to Federicos heart. He had fucked up because his damn head told him that he couldn't trust anyone. He had wanted to talk to Javi for so long and now he fucked up. Maybe he could fix it at the game tomorrow. 

12 o'clock was there faster than any of them had seen it coming. Fede hadn't slept all night. He felt horrible. The stadium was full and Fede turned around when he heard his name being called.

"Federico. I wanted to surprise Sergio."

Brahim had come to watch Sergio. It made Federico so happy. Isco and Nacho had come too. In disguise of course. There would have been a ruckus if anyone saw two Real Madrid players at an uni game. All three of them sat next to Fede and Brahim hugged him tightly. The youngest cheering upon seeing Sergio. 

They lost. Atletico had managed to score two goals. Which had been both Javis mistakes. Fede felt horrible. It had been his fault Javi had been so distraught. The whistling from the others didn't help. They yelled at Javi and called him names. Cristo had managed to give them a goal but it hadn't been enough. Javi had his hands on his hips and wiped away some sweat from his forehead with his sleeve. Everyone trotted to the lockerroom, defeated.

Fede and Brahim waited for Sergio and the others. Isco and Nacho had returned to the car. Sergios eyes were wide and he hugged Brahim to his chest tightly.

"Amor what are you doing here ??"

Brahim kissed him on the lips and smiled widly.

"I wanted to surprise you. You were great. I am very proud."

Sergio hung his head. Brahim should be disappointed. Fede hugged his best friend and patted his shoulder. The others had gathered too. Fede comforted and hugged them as much as he could. 

"Thanks amigo. We will be alright. Capi on the other hand…"

Federico felt even more horrible than before. The others were still chatting a bit and the lockerroom was empty expect for one person.

"Have a good weekend Fede. We will see eachother on Monday." 

The others waved at Fede and left. Carefully he opened the door to the lockerroom to find Javi facing one of he lockers and pressing his forehead against it. His jersey and captain armband laying on the floor. He whirled around upon hearing someone enter. Ready to snarl at them, his eyes softening upon spotting Fede, who was standing in front of the door awkwardly.

"It's just you Federico. Sorry I thought it was one of the others. I really fucked up this game. We lost because I couldn't focus."

Technically it had been Fedes fault and he wanted to fix it. He needed to fix it. He hadn't meant to hurt Javi. His eyes fixed themselves on Javis sleeve. In particular the skull tattoo. It looked incredible. Javi ran a hand across his face and got dressed. That's when Fede decided he had, had enough.

Enough of his own cowardice and fear. 

Javi had gotten dressed and had shouldered his bag. With courage he had never had before Fede grabbed his arm gently and Javi followed him without protest. Fede brought them to his dorm and made Javi sit on the bed. Grabbing his tablet and leaving it on the bed and signaling Javi to stay put. The other didn't complain at all. Fede returned with two hot chocolates. Javi had kicked off his shoes and was sitting on the bed.

Grabbing a blanket, Fede draped it around both of them and let Javi choose a movie on his tablet while they drank their drink. Both of them remaining silent while the movie played. 

"Thank you Federico. I really needed that right now."

Fede smiled widly at him. He should have done this sooner. He held up his phone.

'I am sorry.'

Javi squeezed his hand under the blanket. Fede blinked sleepily. He had fallen asleep ?? When did that happen ?? His head was pillowed on Javis shoulder who was also asleep. Fedes heart was in his throat. He had never been this close to Javi Sanchez. His breathe hitched. Ohh god. They were like centimetres apart. Javi stirred and Fede stilled. Their faces were inches apart. Javi leaned in...

... just to get up and excuse himself.

"I am sorry Federico I think I should leave. Thank you for your company."

Fede had wanted to stop him. Javi had this back pressed against the closed door. Fuck. He had nearly kissed Federico. The other didn't deserve that. Javi didn't want him to think it was pity. With a snarl Javi punched the wall in front of him.

He had to fix this. He wanted to be with Federico but not like this. He didn't want the other to think it was a joke.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glimpses of Javis past are unveiled and in times of need a friend is there for him.

Federico was still frozen on the bed when the door had shut with a soft click. His heart was racing in his chest. What had that been ?? Javi had nearly kissed him ?!?! Fede breathed in he just needed to breathe. Nothing had happened. Maybe Javi had really taken pity on him. Stray tears ran down his cheeks as he sobbed into the pillow. He had been a fool. Again. Maybe Javi had panicked like himself. Fede would sleep and then he would see if Javi was up for some talking.

Javi hurried down campus to his own dorm. He also lived here but on the other end. Technically he could have lived at home too but he had no reason to. Plus living on campus meant not having to see his parents. Which Javi was not up to anyway. His phone rang in his pocket and Javi fished it out. Sighing at the caller. His mother. She would probably complain that he hadn't visited them yet or hadn't made an effort to call them. 

Javi decided to ignore it. His efforts were futile and his phone kept on ringing, making him sigh annoyed.

"Hello mother."

His mother told him to come over for the weekend. Javi didn't want to but he also knew that there was no discussing with his parents so he agreed. He didn't need to make his life even more difficult. The scenario with Federico playing in his head as Javi packed some stuff. God he had really wanted to kiss him but it wouldn't have been fair to either of them. Javi wanted to do this right. Get to know Federico. Be his friend and then they could go from there. If the other felt up to it. 

Javi shouldered his bag and left for the bus stop. The ride home wasn't long. To Javi it felt like years. It didn't help that his parents were wealthy and excepted him to inherit their firm, which Javi didn't want to. He wanted to play football. He wanted to make a living out of football and play for Real Madrid of course. This was his dream. Of course his parents had been against it. So he had to compromise. He was allowed to play football if he enlisted in the best university in Madrid and finished his degree. Javi knew that once he would be finished there would be no football for him anymore.

Javi didn't even get to ring the bell because his mother had already opened the door for him.

"Javier you decided to grace us with your presence how nice of you. You are just in time your father and I were about to have dinner."

Javi tried not to sigh out loud. Family bonding it's what his mother called it. It wasn't that. It was an excuse to gossip and spew out their narrow minded opinions on everything they didn't understand. Javi loved his parents but sometimes he wished they could be more open minded. It was how it was. His mother kissed his cheek briefly and Javi followed her into the big living room where his father was sat. 

"Sit down."

Javi obeyed and draped his jacket over the chair. Unbuttoning his his sleeves to roll them up. His mother gasped audibly at him and his father shot him a disapproving look. Javi arched an eyebrow confused.

"Javier", his mother exclaimed in outrage.

"Cover them up Javier only because we allowed you to get them doesn't mean we have to see them. I still can't believe you got yourself a skull tattoo. It will be on your skin permanently. You know that right ??"

Javi munched on his green beans and mash uninterested and tried not to snort at his mother. Of course he knew that he wasn't dumb god damnit. Javi had wanted the sleeve and he had gotten it. His parents would never get over it. Javi liked it though. His parents talked about trivial things while Javi stared at his plate.

"How are your grades ??"

Javi looked up. "Good."

"What about that translation class you didn't have the best mark last semester. We expect better. We expect you to be the best. You are going to be our heir."

The best ?? Yeah right. He was human and he was flawed. Those expectations were unreal and unhealthy but Javi just nooded his head. That's why he hadn't wanted to come home in the first place. It wasn't an environment he wanted to be in.

"Have you gotten help for that class ?? If not we will have to pay for that."

"A friend is helping me."

It was quiet all of a sudden. There was no cluttering of forks or knives. Just eerie silence. Then his parents started laughing while Javi blinked at his half finished meal. He wasn't hungry all of a sudden.

"A friend ?? You don't have friends Javier. What did we tell you about socializing with people. They are only after our money. Who is that mysterious friend you have made ?? Someone from your pathetic sport ?? We heard it was your fault that you lost the last game. Maybe it would be better to stop this nonsense Javier and focus on your education."

Javi breathed out slowly. He was tired all of a sudden and he wanted to go back to his dorm.

"Who is this friend Javier ?? Are you making up people like you used to when you were little ??"

"Federico Valverde."

His mother gaped at him like a fish and his father slammed the table to hard the glasses clattered. 

"The mute one ?? Our son is "friends" with a freak. We have heard rumors about him. That he is one of THEM. You could be associated with being one of THEM. Our son is not a faggot. You will terminate this madness. Do you even know what you are doing to us ??"

His parents had reacted just like Javi had imagined it. They lived in their little bubble and whatever was outside of that bubble was wrong. It was kind of sad. The hunger for money ruined people. 

"Don't call him that."

The vein on his fathers forehead was popping dangerously.

"What did you say Javier ??"

Javi had gotten up. "Don't call him a freak." 

With that Javi went up the stairs and shut his door. Hugging his pillow to his chest. His phone was blinking and Javi felt so incredibly lonely all of a sudden. He had never really had any friends. And if he had he just got used. Sergio and the others had seemed nice. Javi though about Fede. Maybe this whole situation was getting too much.

'Sorry I am bothering you parajito azul I…I asked myself if we could study a bit together. I am sorry I left like that I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I will be at the uni library if you want to come. Or you know what it's ok I can study on my own. I am so sorry I bothered you. I just feel lonely. Just ignore this message. I had promised you to delete your number. Sorry."

A knock on his door made Javi flinch and he packed some stuff into his bag to take with him to uni. If his parents thought that he would stay with them after what they had said about Federico they were wrong.

"Javier. Javier open the door. Apologize to your father. I knew that allowing you to play that game was a mistake. Javier."

Javi knew that his parents loved him. In their own way. They had never come to any game although Javi would have been so happy about their support. They had no interest in that and he could live with that, the homophobic remarks were a different thing. Calling Fede a freak was just... They were grown-ups they should have known better.

"Where are you going Javier ??"

"To the library mother. I have to study. Maybe I will come over for Christmas."

Javi wasn't sure about that if he would really be there for Christmas. Maybe they just needed some time to cool off. All of them. Javi went to his room to grab some books and made his way to the library. At least it was fairly empty and he could finish some stuff. Mourinho had given them like 20 pages to translate and Javi sighed. The majority was done he still had like what 5 pages or so. No big deal. 

Javi was so focused in flipping through the dictionary that he didn't notice that someone had sat at his table. He got a minor scare when he looked up. Federico waved at him and smiled, making Javi sigh softly. 

Fede had been sulking in bed when he had gotten the message. At first he had thought about not going. The incident on Friday had been scary enough. Javi had sounded like he needed a friend though so Fede had decided to go and see if he could find the captain in the library. If Sergio wouldn't have been there for him, Fede was sure he would have broken. In return he wanted to be there for Javi. 

They sat in silence for a while. Javi had stretched and had slung his hoodie on the chair next to him, giving Federico a perfect view on his sleeve. Fede tried not to stare, it was impolite to do so he couldn't help himself though. Tentatively he stretched his hand and touched the tattooed skin. The skull in particular had captured his attention. Javi had flinched slightly but didn't pull his arm away.

Federicos warm and soft hands sending shivers down his spine. Javi made no effort in trying to escape the others fingers. Fede eyes glowed like a small child on Christmas as he his fingers travelled up and down Javis arm. Inspecting the tattoos. His fingers hovering over the skull and stroking it fascinated. It was by far his favourite. It looked incredible.

"Which one is your favourite ??"

Federico looked up and tiled his head.

"Which is your favourite tattoo ??"

Fedes fingers remained on the skull. It was by a mile the most beautiful tattoo he had seen. Javi was laughing softly which made Fede look up.

"It's my favourite too you know. My parents hate it. They think it's ugly and not appropriate for someone like me. They are very narrow minded… Sorry I didn't mean to bore you Federico. Thank you so much for keeping me company."

Fedes fingers were still on Javis arm. He was sure he was blushing so hard.

Neither of them made a sound. Still Javi felt the need to explain himself. He felt horrible. 

"I am sorry I left the other day you know. I… I wanted to kiss you, you know. I don't want to fuck this up Federico. I would us rather have friends than fuck this up. You have hurt enough because of me. I don't deserve your love and my parents would disapprove, not that I really care what they think. I don't want to hurt you… I would really like to kiss you."

Federico could feel himself shake. He would faint or something. Javi couldn't just say stuff like that. He had seemed surprised when Fede had shown up like he hadn't expected that Fede would even read the message. It was too soon to be talking about kissing and relationships and stuff. This was about being there for a friend and then they could go from there.

They spend like three hours in the library together. They had technically held hands on the table but Fede didn't want to ponder on that thought too much. Javi had this sad expression on his face. Both of them packing their stuff away in silence. They were about to part ways when Fede opened his arms in invitation and Javi looked at him like a puppy left in the rain. Fedes heart was beating in his chest when Javi accepted his hug. It was like a big fluffy warm blanket.

"Thank you for that Federico. Really I don't know what to say to that."

Fede beamed at him and Javi smiled softly in return. Javi was about to turn around and go to his dorm when Fede grabbed his wrist and tugged him along. They were technically holding hands while walking across campus to get to Fedes dorm. Like the other day Javi sat on the bed and was handed the tablet. Swiping around for a movie while Fede searched around his desk and handed him a block.

An art block. Javis throat was dry all of a sudden and he looked from Fede to the block and back to Fede. Who smiled and nodded. Carefully Javi flipped through the pages while Fede sat next to him and searched for a movie. This block was filled with trees and animals so it was a different one from the one Javi had seen. He halted on the last page. The date was from today. Depicted were a blue bird and a cheetah. 

Fede pointed at the bird and then to himself then to the cheetah and Javi. Javis eyes softened.

"So you think I am a cheetah ??"

Fede held up his phone.

'You are fast and strong and graceful. Yes you are a cheetah."

Javi smiled at that. He really wanted to kiss Fede now. They watched the movie in silence just enjoying eachothers company. It was nice being huddled up in a blanket together. Federico had a habit of falling asleep on Javis shoulder which the other found amusing and cute at the same time. He shook the younger one awake.

"Federico. Federico wake up. I am going to leave but we will see eachother tomorrow, yes ??"

Fede rubbed his eyes sleepily and blinked at Javi.The drawing with the bird and the cheetah was shoved in the others chest gently.

"I can keep it ??"

Fede nodded smiling widly.

"Thank you. It's beautiful. I will make sure to frame it. Have a good night parajito azul." 

Sergio and the other practically swarmed Fede on monday. They were murdering him with hugs which was nice and all but it was also nice to be able to breathe thank you very much. Sergio laughed happily and was talking about his date with Brahim. Fede was so happy for his friend he really was. 

"So we went to this restaurant and the food was so good damn. Brahim is nearly done with studying and I am so excited. Hey Fede. Fede are you listening amigo ??"

Javi had just excited the cafeteria with a sandwich in hand and a hot drink in the other. A group of girls and guys swarmed him equally.

"What kind of captain are you anyway. Can't even win us a damn game. We don't want you anymore."

Javis eyes were ice cold as he sipped on his drink uninterested. He sighed and fought his way out of the circle. He looked up from his drink to meet Federicos eyes who was smiling gently at him. A hand grabbed his wrist and tugged him along.

"Sergio what is Fede…"

Sergio held out his hand to to stop Cristo from talking. It was Fedes decision and none of them had a say in this. Fede beamed at them when he lead Javi to their little group. 

"I hope I am not interuding anything. Federico wouldn't take a no for an answer I am sorry."

All of them made their way to their class together. Fede never letting go of Javis wrist who smiled at him gratefully.

"Thank you pajarito azul."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi and Fede spend Christmas apart and yet together.

Fede pulled the covers above his head when there was a very presistent knock on his door. He didn't want to get up. It was so warm and comfy. Just 5 more minutes. Please. 

"Fede. Fede we are going to be late come on."

With a sigh Federico threw the blanket away and sat up in bed rubbing his eyes. He was so tired. In 2 weeks they would be on Christmas break. Fede would be able to sleep in as much as he wanted. He was really looking forward to it. Sleeping. Reading. Doing nothing in general. Ok maybe study a bit but not too much. He had no intention of going home. Studying was always a good excuse. 

One shouldn't spend Christmas alone but Fede would rather spend it alone than with his family who would just judge him and make him feel miserable. Another knock on the door startled him and Federico opened it to be greeted with Sergio and Javi.

"Come on amigo we have to hurry."

Federico rushed to the bathroom and was ready in record speed. He had really wanted to skip class today to sleep in. It had started snowing even more. Engulfing the campus in a white sheet of snow. It was beautiful unless you had to march through the snow then it was just annoying really. Fede hugged Sergio tightly who patted his cheek. Javi smiled at him and Fede wanted to hug him too but restrained himself. The uni football captain had integrated himself very well in the group. 

The others were waiting in front of the cafe. They looked like penguins with their hats and scarves that had been draped over their mouths. It was definitely a funny scene. 

"Damn Fede did you oversleep again ?? Next time you have to call him Sergio. I always tell you but you don't listen to me."

Sergio shrugged at Marco's rant. He knew that Fede usually got lethargic during the winter months. He was like a mole in hibernation. If he could he wouldn't leave his bed for those 31 days. December was really the worst. Fede was smiling at Javi who was telling him about football. Practise had been cancelled due to the heavy snowfall. Which Javi was really glad about. After that devastating loss against Atletico he wasn't a well liked figure anymore. The break was good.

Cristo went to grab them some sandwiches with Luca before all of them had to trotted to the worst subject of their class. Classic history which was taught by their headmaster Florentino Perez, who had a reputation to be worse than Guardiola. One couldn't even sleep in his class because he would throw one out. You just to pretend to listen. Which was an obstacle in itself. Combine the topic, the prof and his monotone voice and you had yourself the class of death.

Cristo returned with the sandwiches and all of them made their way to the class. Javi sat next to Fede who had placed his art block on the table. He knew he wouldn't be able to follow Perez for a long time, he had to be prepared. 

"What are you planning on drawing ?? Anything specific in mind or are you just going to doodle ??"

Fede shrugged. He had no idea really. Maybe he would doodle maybe not. 

"You could draw me. I am the perfect model am I not ??"

Javi winked and Fede felt the tips of his ears heat up. He touched Javi wrist lightly which made the other smile widly at him.

"Your hands are quiet cold Federico do you feel ok ??"

Fede nodded when a group of girls passed them and sneered at them. He tried to focus on the drawing before him when Luca's and Marco's voices made him turn around.

"Pollito tell us who you are texting to damnit. Come on. In the beginning it was still funny but now it isn't damnit. Why are you so mean to us. Tellllll usssss pooooor favor. Pooooor favor."

"Stop bugging me. I have a love life too. And no I won't tell you who it is."

Both Luca's and Marco's faces fell and they pouted while demanding attention from their boyfriends, who sighed dramatically and patted their shoulders in comfort. Sergio laughed in amusement while Javi looked at Fede in confusion. 

Before any of them could take the conversation further, the classroom turned from loud to ghostly quiet in mere seconds. Everyone was afraid of their headmaster who would issue punishments and suspensions if anyone dared to disturb his lessons. You didn't need to pay attention just be quiet, although paying attention would be recommended. Even Marcos put his phone away and focused on Perez' slow and monotone voice.

Javi was scribbling on his block when he glanced at Fede who was drawing something. The others arm preventing him from seeing the paper. Javi didn't mean to pry. After a long 90 minutes Perez dismissed them and Luca and Marco were sighing dramatically. All of them had some free time. While Sergio, Javi and Fede sat on a bench and sipped on their drinks the others continued bugging Marcos about his mysterious lover. Marco was destroying Marcos' perfectly styled hair while Cristo and Luca had trapped the blond effectively. Alvaro was standing to the side and facepalming himself.

"Get your hands out of my hair you savages. I need hours to get it perfect. Let go of me. Come on."

"Not before you tell us pollito. Tell us."

"Alvarito don't stand there like that help me."

Alvaro just shrugged while Sergio laughed in amusement and Javi turned towards Fede who also smiled and shrugged.

"Are they always like that ?? It looks like fun."

"Yeah they are always like that. Disorganised and loud but we love them right, Fede ??"

Federico smiled widely and nodded. He wouldn't have it any other way. The guys were awesome.

"Why are you asking Javi ?? Are your friends not that crazy ?? That's ok not everyone needs to be crazy."

Javis shoulders slumped but he tried not to let it show that he felt kind of lonely all of a sudden. The prospect of having to spend Christmas and New Year alone with his parents was something he didn't look forward to. As if Fede had sensed that something was wrong, he squeezed Javi wrist and smiled at him. Javi smiled back.

Sergio turned towards Federico.

"Hey are you gonna spend Christmas with me ?? I might go to Brahim. You know he wouldn't mind."

Fede shook his head energetically. He had already bothered his best friend enough. He was used to being alone at Christmas really. His mother would probably call him and demand that he would come over. Fede was better off at the dorms alone. Sergios family had done so much for him, he didn't want to bother them even more. Maybe the alone time would do him good.

"Are you going home Javi ??"

Javi nodded. "Yes, my parents expect me home for Christmas." 

If he was honest Javi would have preferred to stay at the dorms too but his parents would throw a fit so he would comply and be there for Christmas. The guys were still "fighting" eachother when Sergio whistled to get their attention. 

"Come on we have to leave."

The weeks passed by in a blur and before anyone knew or noticed the holidays had started on Friday the 22nd. Everyone was packing to go home. Some would stay in Madrid like Marcos or Luca. Cristo would fly to Tenerife to his family. All of them had gathered at Fedes dorm to exchange presents.

"Fede I am going to ask one last time. Are you sure you don't want to come to Brahims ?? He has been asking me."

Fede shook his head and Sergio sighed at that. All of them handed Fede a wrapped box. A heavy box. Which was placed on Fedes bed. A small fake Christmas tree was at the far end of Fedes small room. It was nothing special but it was nice nonetheless. Fede handed eachone of his friends their respective gifts when Javi gave him a small bag with two wrapped packets inside, which Fede also put under his tree. In return he handed Javi his gift.

All of them hugged Fede in parting and promised to write. They would see eachother on the 31st to celebrate New Year's eve together.

"Don't forget to write Fede. We love you pajarito."

Fede waved and Javi was the only one who was standing in the room. He grabbed the box and put it under Fedes tree which the other smiled at him gratefully.

"So you are going to spend Christmas alone huh ??"

Fede shrugged. It was ok. Better than being at his mothers really. 

"We can write during the holidays if you'd like ??"

Fede smiled widly and nodded. He would like that very much. 

"Have nice holidays then pajarito azul."

Javi leaned in and Fede froze, his eyes wide. The other kissed his cheek briefly. It wasn't even a kiss really. His lips had barely touched Fedes cheek. With a sigh Fede let himself fall into the matress and stared at the ceiling, his head redder than a tomato. He hid his face in his hands embarrassed, his heart was racing in his chest.

Javi had stashed Fedes gift in his luggage safely and the group made their way to the bus station together. It was a miracle the busses were even driving with the heavy snowfall that was still upon them. One by one everyone said goodby until Javi was the last one left in the bus. He watched the snow fall it was hypnotizing. Before he knew it Javi was at his destination and he was dreading it.

He knocked on the door and waited.

"Ahh Javier so in the end you decided to come."

Javi forced himself to smile. All those horrible things his parents had said about Fede were still very present. His mother kissed his cheek briefly. There were no hugs or anything. A light kiss on the cheek was the best thing Javi could get. From his mother at least. It had always been like that. His parents had always preached that feelings made one vulnerable and had withdrawn any kind of affection keeping themselves limited to the bare minimum. Javi was surprised he wasn't emotionally constipated really. 

The days before Christmas were surprisingly silent. No one bothered him, which Javi was grateful for. Fedes present was still in his luggage. Javi had sat on his window and had watched the snow fall. Engulfing their garden in whiteness. He would do the same thing when he had been little. Watch the garden. Since he hadn't be allowed to interact with other children because his parents would judge everyone and think they were better than anyone else. Him and Fede had texted nearly the whole time and Javi didn't feel as lonely as before.

"Javier your father wants you to play for us. You have been in here all day long. You have to socialize. Come downstairs."

'Sorry pajarito azul I have to go. Talking later ??'

His parents had "spoiled" him giving him the best education possible. He had been homeschooled. University was the first "public" institution he had gone to. Javi sat on the piano and cracked his fingers to loosen them.

"You know what to play Javier."

Javi nodded and his fingers hit the keys with trained precision. It had been a while he had played. He was only allowed to play Classics though.

"It wasn't good enough Javier. You were better when you were younger and your head wasn't full of nonsense like football."

Javi bit his lower lip hard, bowed and left for his room. He should have stayed at the dorm. Thinking about Fede, Javi fell asleep. It was Christmas and Javi wanted to be anywhere else but at home. They would have Christmas lunch together which Javi wasn't looking forward to. Still in his pjamas Javi opened his luggage and carefully took out Fedes gift. It wasn't heavy or anything. The wrapper was red with smiling Santas on it. It looked cute. Carefully Javi unwrapped the gift, he was left with a block.

An artblock.

Javi flipped through the first page. It was dedicated to him and his heart sped up at that.

For Javi Sanchez from Federico Valverde  
I hope you will like it.

No one had ever gifted him anything. Coming from Fede this meant so much to him. So much.

Carefully Javi flipped through the pages. The first third was filled with trees and flowers and nature in general. The other third was filled with a blue bird and a cheetah. The blud bird was riding on the cheetahs head. It was very cute. The last third made Javis heart stop. His eyes welled up with tears but he blinked them away. There were some pictures of himself and football. One was of himself while he kissed his badge proudly. Him and Fede were in one together. The last made him choke however. Everyone was in the picture. Sergio and the others. Fede. Himself. 

Friends was written under the picture and Javi chocked. Stray tears ran down his cheeks. No one had ever done something like that for him. He had felt so incredibly lonely all of this time and now he had friends ?? He clutched the block to his chest. 

His mother called him down for lunch and to be honest Javi would have much rather spend his Christmas with Fede who was at the dorm alone. Presents were a trivial thing in the Sanchez home. They were overrated and useless. The only Christmas tradition they had was lunch. The tree was decorated and delivered by a company. It was incredibly boring.

"Have you finally decided to stop with that nonsense and focus on your studies Javier ?? This game of yours is taking up too much time."

Javi had decided to get sign language lessons for himself. He wanted to be able to comminicate with Fede. His parents would probably throw a fit. 

"Tell us about your studies ??"

Javi had the urge to roll his eyes. They had talked about that over 2 weeks ago. Nothing could change in 2 weeks. His parents had no damn hobbies except to gossip about people. If he told them he would take sign language lessons they would probably kill him. 

"Javier ?? Javier are you even listening ?? You have gotten so disrespectful since hanging out with that freak. Have you terminated this so called "friendship" ??"

Javi breathed in and looked at his food. 

"Javier ??"

"He is my friend."

His father slammed the table making Javi flinch.

"Enough of this Javier. We have given you everything and that's how you thank us. By acting like a little girl ?? You don't need friends. We forbid you to talk to him. Enough with football. We have been to gracious with you. You will focus on your studies."

Javi had pushed the chair back.

"May I be excused ??"

Javi didn't wait for any of them to say anything and stromed upstairs. He pressed his back against the door. He could hear his parents curse downstairs. God he felt so lonely. So incredibly lonely. Carefully Javi grabbed the art block and flipped through the pages. Halting at the last one. Stroking it. He flinched when his mother stormed inside. Javis blood froze in his veins when she spotted the block. It was ripped from Javis hands while his mother shouted for his father.

"What is this Javier ??"

Javi swallowed hard. 

"A gift."

His parents laughed at him. When his mother spotted what Javi believed to be Fedes name.

"We will burn this."

Thats when Javi panicked. No. No please don't. Please.

"Please. Please don't. Please give it back."

Fede had put so much hard work into his. Javi followed his parents downstairs. His mother holding him back as his father ripped the drawings to pieces and threw them into the open fire. Javi felt tears run down his cheeks. Please stop. His father scoffed at the last drawing.

"You don't have any friends, Javier, remember that. Go to your room."

Javi sobbed. He rushed upstairs and closed his luggage. Tears obscuring his vision. His phone was blinking but Javi stuffed it in his pants and hurried downstairs.

"Javier where do you think you are going ?? Javier come back. Now."

The cold snow hits Javi hard while he pushed his luggage behind him. It was freezing cold but he couldn't care. Tears falling from his eyes made it difficult to see the road ahead. It was Christmas and no one was in the streets anyway. He had to get away from his parents. Fedes hard work had been useless and Javi felt horrible. And lonely. He just wanted to curl up in bed and cry forever.

Fede had unpacked his gifts as soon as he had woken up. The boys had gifted him the whole Harry Potter set. The books were a limited edition and came in a special case. They were beautiful. Javi had gifted him some high quality drawing paper and a new set of pencils. Fede couldn't wait to try them out. He had nestled into bed and cocooned himself in a blanket. A mug of hot chocolate and the first book in hand. He was nearly finished with the first chapter when he heard a knock on his door. With a frown Fede got up and opened it carefully.

Fede was frozen in place. Javi was standing in front of his door. The snow had started to melt and was dripping on his doormat. Javi had hung his head and his hair had fallen into his face, preventing Fede to see it. His shoulders were shaking and Fede asked himself if it was from the cold when he heard a sob. Javi never lifted his head and Fede tugges him inside by grabbing his wrist.

"I am so sorry I am bothering you. I didn't know where to go. I didn't want to be alone. I am sorry. I am sorry please. I felt so lonely."

Javi had his palms pressed against his eyes to prevent the tears from falling. He was soaked to the bone. Fede had grabbed a towel and had thrown it over Javis shoulders. However Javi didn't stop crying and Fede dared to hug him. Javis arm wound around him immediately. His face was pressed against Fedes neck. Wetting it with his tears. Fede was intoxicated by the football captains smell. He smelled so good. He was here to comfort a friend. Nothing more nothing less. 

Javi extracted himself from Fede and cupped his cheeks. Fedes breathe hitched and Javi pressed his forehead against the others. They stayed like that for god knows how long. Their breath mingling together. When Javi broke the contact.

"I am sorry I… I shouldn't have done that."

Both of them end up sitting on Fedes bed. Javi was so incredibly embarrassed. He shouldn't have shown up at Federicos like that. Fede smiles at him gently and squeezes his hand.

"Thank you for your gift. I… I am so sorry. My parents they…"

Javi started crying again prompting Fede to rub his back in comfort.

"Thank you for being my friend. I really appreciate that."

Fede smiled and got up to hand Javi the first book of the Harry Potter series.

"You want me to read to you ??"

Fede nodded and sat on the bed while Javi breathed in and flipped through the book. He had never read the books so he could enjoy the experience with Fede. Javi was at chapter four when he felt Fede shuffle. The other had his head in Javis lap. Javi gulped and tried to calm his racing heart. He continued reading for a while before he put the book aside. Fede had fallen asleep and Javi dared to run a hand through his hair. 

"You are beautiful pajarito azul", Javi whispered softly.

That's when Fede stirred and blinked sleepily. Observing Javi through half open eyeslids. He lifted his hand to stroke Javis cheeks. Javi had bitten his lower lip. His head was screaming at him. Breathing in Javis eyes never left Fede.

He leaned in…


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi gives Fede the best Christmas present he could have ever imagined.

Fedes eyes were wide and he was sure his heart had stopped beating. A soft hand cradled his cheek making his eyes flutter. Javis warm breath was on his face which was like centimeters from his own. Before Javi could lean in Fede had hidden his face in his hands embarrassed. He was sure he was redder than a tomato and close to fainting, the beating of his heart was not healthy anymore. 

"Hey it's ok. I can stop if you don't want to. Sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything."

Fede shook his head energetically and spread his fingers to peak at Javi who was as calm as the sea. Warm fingers were stroking Fedes side. Javi was as nervous as he was Fede knew. A faint blush was on the others cheeks. Stop being a chicken Federico and let it happen, he told himself. Javi was playing with the hair on Federicos neck.

"Can I kiss you ??"

The football captain ducked his head embarrassed and waited for Fedes response patiently. At this point Fede was sure his heart was going to jump ot of his chest. He nodded and removed his hands from his face, shutting his eyes tightly. A gentle hand stroke his face.

"Open them. Open your eyes pajarito azul. I want to see them. Please."

At this point Fede was sure he was going to faint. He did as told and opened his eyes hesitantly, getting lost in Javis whos eyes were kind and warm. One of Javis hands had curled around his waist the other was still on his cheek. Their noses touched and Fedes eyes fluttered, he remembered Javis plea and kept them open. 

Fedes breath hitched when Javis lips, Javi soft and warm lips, met his. There was no hurry. The kiss was soft and gentle. It felt like when a soft breeze would pass a tree and shake it's leaves gentle. Javis lips tasted like chocolate and the ocean. Sweet and a little bit salty. Javis hand was still on his cheek. Thats when Fede noticed that he had started crying. Single tears falling from his eyes. Javi had frowned his eyebrows in worry. To be honest it felt like a dream. 

It had to be too good to be true. Javis voice snapped Fede out of his thoughts.

"Hey. Hey, hey it's ok. I am sorry. I didn't meant to make you uncomfortable."

Fede threw himself at the other. His hands curling around Javis still damp hoodie. His face was pressed into the wet fabric. It felt like a dream. Maybe it was a dream. It wouldn't have been the first time Fede had dreamt about kissing Javi. 

"Federico ?? Federico are you ok ?? Please just nod your head or something. I am really worried."

Fede was so sleepy all of a sudden. It was Christmas and he had just kissed Javi ?? It had to be a dream. He felt soft lips on his forehead which made him shudder. He would have never thought that he would ever kiss Javi. Who was shivering like a leaf. Fede untangled himself and looked at the other in worry. Jumping out ofd the bed Fede searched through his wardrobe and pulled out a dry hoodie and t-shirt to offer it to Javi. Who took them gratefully but not before kissing Fede on the lips again.

Fede nearly fainted when he saw Javis naked chest. His eyes glued themselves to the sleeve. Without even thinking about it Fede touched the skull. Memorizing it. Javi never moved and let Fedes warm hands, which were warm and soft and send pleasant shivers down his spine, roam his tattoos. Fedes brows were frowned in concentration as he carefully inspected the lion and all the other tattoos.

"Hey you don't have to memorize them. I am here. You can draw me whenever you want. I told you I would like to be your model if you want to draw me."

Javi still had to tell Fede about the ruined block but he had no idea how. Who knew how long Fede had worked on it and now those beautiful pages were just ashes. Javi should have never opened the present. He felt incredibly guilty. 

"Hey I…"

Fede cocked his head confused and squeezed Javis wrist. Slight panic began to bubble up in this chest. Maybe this had been a joke ????? All of this ??  
It was like Javi was sensing what Fede was thinking because he got up and hugged the younger to his chest.

"Sorry I didn't mean to worry you. I really loved your present."

Fede smiled widly at that. He was so happy to hear that. He had worked on that particular block for months. Trying to choose the right images. The bird and the cheetah and the group pic had been the last ones included. Javi warm hand was on his cheek again.

"I would like to kiss you again ?? Can I ??"

Fede felt his face heat up again. He was sure his heart was going to jump out of his chest while Javi caressed his neck and played with his hair. Javis lips were so soft, so incredibly soft. Fede expected Javi to want more for the other broke the kiss and had pressed his forehead against his own, his eyes closed and his breathing slightly ragged.

"You are beautiful pajarito azul."

Javi had taken his hand and had put it on his chest. Fede gulped when he felt Javis heartbeat underneath his palm. The other was a nervous as he was which calmed Fede greatly. Both of them settled into bed together. Javi leaving butterfly kisses all over Fedes face. A hand had curled around his waist and was preventing him from falling. They both barely fit in Fedes bed but it didn't matter. 

Javi didn't want to suggest his own dorm. He didn't want to make Fede feel bad or anything. Of course he would have one of the biggest dorm. He even had a kitchen inside. That's what you got for being rich and he had no intention of making Fede uncomfortable by showing him those things. They didn't matter anyway. Fede was nuzzling his neck gently, his warm breathe sending shivers down Javis spine. Their legs were tangled together. Javi had dreamt about it. Countless times. 

Fede had pushed his face into his chest. He was laying half on top of Javi. His ear right above the others heart. A hand ran across his hair, Fede felt a kiss being pressed against his head. He was so happy. So incredibly happy he wanted to cry. 

"Feliz Navidad pajarito azul."

Javi however didn't fall asleep. Not immediately. He spend his time watching Fede sleep, who had his face squished in his chest. His lips were slightly parted and he would sigh in his sleep from time to time. Javi had his hand in Fedes locks, occasionally he would drop kisses to his forehead. His eyes softening at the sight. 

"You are so beautiful pajarito azul. So beautiful", he whispered into the dark room. 

If it had been up to him, Javi would have probably never found the courage to talk to Fede. He had noticed him right away. Fede would always sit on the stands and watch them at practise. Javi had always thought that it was because of Sergio and the others. Of course rumors had started to circulate around. Talking about how Fede had a crush on him. It wasn't anything new. A lot of people had a crush on him. There had been something that had sparked Javi interest though. Maybe it had been the drawings maybe it had been something else. 

The only thing that mattered was that he could hold Fede in his arms right now. That he could leave soft kisses on his skin. That he could convince him that this was real and not a joke or a dare or anything. 

Javi wasn't like that. He fell asleep with a content smile on his face. This was everything he could have asked for. Javi knew that Fede didn't love him for his money or because he was so well liked. He loved him because he was Javi and that's everything he had ever wanted. This had been the best Christmas since Javi could remember Chrismas. 

Fede woke up with Javi heart beating into his ear softly and it was the best feeling in the world. Contently he snuggled closer to his boyfriend. They were boyfriends, right ?? When you loved someone you didn't need to lable it but maybe Fede needed to know in that exact moment because his insecurity crept into his veins like ice. A hand in his air made him still.

"Good morning amor."

If Fede could have melted in Javis chest like ice he would have done so. That small yet effective and powerful word made him relax immensely. All those doubts were pushed to the back of his mind. Javi left a lingering kiss on his forehead and Fede was sure he would have purred like a kitten and squealed like a small child if his voice would have allowed it. No sound escaped his mouth. Which made him incredibly sad. He was sure Javi would get bored at one point wouldn't he ?? Not being able to talk to him. Or Fede not being able to express himself. He could only smile or use body language. Or write.

"Where is your beautiful head amor ?? What are you thinking about ??"

Fede was sure a bitter laugh would have escaped his mouth if he could talk. He couldn't. He couldn't answer Javis question. Javi being Javi had taken Fedes hand and had placed it on his stomach.

"Write it on my skin. Don't worry about that. You don't have to be able to talk to make me happy. Whoever told you that is a douche."

Fede complied to Javis wish and slowly started to paint words with his finger.

You.

Fede dared up to look into Javi eyes which were kind and soft and understanding. Fede felt like crying all of a sudden. He didn't deserve that kindness and love. He didn't. Javi pressed kisses against every inch of skin he could get to. Cupping Fede face and pressing their foreheads together, their noses touched in a small Eskimo kiss.

"I will make sure to show you deserve to be love. That you not talking is not an obstacle for us. Everything will be ok Federico."

Fede hid his face in Javis hoodie which was technically his hoodie and cried. He was so happy but there was also doubt. Javi had told hi. it would be ok. 

"Do you want me to read to you amor ??"

Fede nodded agianst his chest. He so was glad that Javi was distracting him. The other got up carefully not to trip over Fede and grabbed the book that he had placed on the desk the day before. His eyes halting at the art blocks that were stacked at the far end. Guilt pooling in his stomach. Maybe he could watch Fede draw someday. Not the most important part was taking Fede doubt and replacing it with love. 

Endless, unconditional love. 

Like the day before Javi sat on the bed crosslegged and Fede pillowed his head in his lap. A hand ran across the soft brown hair and Javi lost himself in Fedes eyes before he flipped through the book to find the chapter he had read from last night. 

Being in Javis lap relaxed Fede incredibly and he just breathed out. Javis left hand had come to rest on his chest right above his heart. Which was beating so fast, Fede was sure it would jump out of his chest any minute now. 

He heard Javi exhale above him. Fede had closed his eyes to focus on Javis voice entirely. It felt like the figures were coming to life and it was so incredibly soft. Fede had put his own hand on top of Javis to keep it there. It was nice. So incredibly nice having his boyfriend read to him from the books. Having his head in his lap and holding hands. At one point Javi stopped reading and Fede frowned his eyebrows in worry. 

When he opened his eyes Javi had bend over to kiss him. 

In that moment Fede was the happiest person on Earth.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi and Fede celebrate New years together and there is an incident during practise.

On the 31st Sergio had knocked on Fedes door early in the morning. It had been a miracle Fede hadn't hurt himself while he stumbled through the dark room while rubbing his eyes. If it were up to him he would have buried his head in Javis chest and continued to sleep really. His boyfriend had spend most of their free days at Fedes apartment. He had gone to his just to shower or change or grab some clothes. 

Upon hearing noise Javi had blindly searched for Fede on the bed just to find the spot empty but still warm. Pressing his arm against his eyes he exhaled while he heard Sergio talk. The light flooding the room made him flinch.

"Ah so sleeping beauty is also here. Good morning capi."

Javi had turned his head to look at Sergio in annoyance while Fede sat on the bed next to him. An arm curled around Fedes waist and Javi pushed his face in his boyfriends back to block out the light and breathe in his scent. It was intoxicating and beautiful. Fede had a hand in his hair and was running it through his strands while Sergio continued talking.

"So we are gonna meet on campus and go to the nearby park for the fireworks. What do you say ?? Everyone except Cristo is already back. Cristo should be back around noon. He said his flight from Tenerife would be aroud 11am."

Javi sighed tiredly while he lifted his head from Federicos back.

"You came to tell us at this at this ungodly hour. God damnit Sergio."

Sergio giggled and stuck his tongue out to his captain.

"Whats going on capi ?? Are you getting old or what ?? You are younger than me don't complain."

Fede stroked Javis hand in comfort while Sergio winked at him. Javi proceeded to lay down in bed again and took Fede with him who would have squeaked and giggled if he could have made a sound. He smiled widly at the older who pressed his nose against his temple while Sergio smiled softly. His best friend was happy and thats what counted.

"Ok I will leave you lovebirds alone now I just wanted to tell you. Have fun."

Sergio winked and Fede was sure he was blushing crimson.

"Next time text us Reguilon", Javi muttered in Fedes hair in fake annoyance.

Fede settled on Javi chest while the other curled an arm around his waist to prevent him from falling off the bed. Occasionally pressing kisses against Fedes face or ear or any piece of skin he could get to which made Fede hide his face in Javis chest.

"You are beautiful baby boy. So beautiful. Lets sleep a bit it's like 7 in the morning."

Javi yawned and Fedes eyes fluttered while his hand curled around Javis shirt. He was so incredibly happy. With a smile Fede fell asleep again while Javi ran a hand through his hair and wispered sweet nothings into his ear before allowing himself to fall asleep too.

Javi had opened his eyes when Federico had began trembling in his arms. His eyes had practically flown open as he shook his boyfriend awake. Or at least tried to. It took him three tries for Fede to blink up at him. His eyes wide and tears running down his cheeks. 

"Whats the matter amor ?? Are you ok ??"

Fede threw himself at the older one and hid his face in his chest. He had dreamed about that horrible incident again. And about his mother. She had texted him after Christmas when Javi had gone to his dorm to get a change of clothes. Blaming him and calling him ungrateful. Before Javi had come back Fede had managed to compose himself. Erasing every evidence that he had cried. He had bothered Sergio enough with that, he didn't want to bother Javi with it.

It was ok.

Javi had proceed to kiss his eyelids and his forehead before stretching like a cat and yawning. Sergio had written them through the whatsapp group that they would meet at his for a round FIFA so all of them could spend the day together. Fede had gone to the bathroom to splash some water to his face. He leaned on the doorframe to observe Javi who was sitting on the bed crosslegged, one of Fedes hoodies on while checking his phone. Upon spotting Fede in the doorway his eyes softened.

"There is still some time. Do you want me to read to you baby boy ??"

The tips of Fedes ears turned crimson at the nickname and he nodded while grabbing a book from the shelf and handing it to Javi. Before he made himself comfortable in his boyfriends lap. It was nice being read to and having a hand running through his hair. Like the other times Javis hand would settle on Fedes chest right above his heart. The younger one keeping the hand there by interlacing their fingers and listening to Javis angel like voice.

Both of them got ready at around 3pm to go to Sergios. Fede blushed crimson when Javi took his hand in his his and they made their way to the bus station like that. It was still snowing and the weather forecast had said that it would still be snowing for the rest of the week. Fede knew the way to Sergios house like the back of his hand. Better than his own house even. He was sure he could have found it even if he was blind.

Sergios mother greeted them at the door and hugged Fede to her chest. Patting his cheek gently and scolding him. Telling him that he was thin and that he should eat more. Fede had really missed Mrs. Reguilon. She had always been so nice to him. 

"My dear boy are you sure you are eating properly ?? I will make some sandwiches. With homemade bread of course. There is also cake. I know all of you shouldn't eat too heavy because of football but someone has to feed you. And who is this lovely gentleman ?? Your boyfriend ??"

Fede was redder than a tomato at this point. He nodded slight while Mrs.Reguilon smiled warmly at him.

"You choose yourself a fine man Federico. Go on ahead. Sergio is in his room with Brahim. The others should be here shortly. I am very happy to see that you are doing well dear."

Mrs.Reguilon hugged him before pushing both of them towards the stairs to Sergios room. Brahim had Sergio pinned to the ground and was kissing him heatedly when Fede opened the door. He should have knocked really because he was blushing crimson and hiding his face in Javis chest when seeing the scene. Only when Javi cleared his throat his friends got the message and managed to unglue themselves from eachother.

"Sorry about that Fede", Sergio said rubbing the back of his neck embarrassed. Brahim joined him and grinned before pressing a kiss to Sergios cheek.

"I am not sorry boys", he said winking at them.

As if on cue there were noises downstairs and the others trailed to them like ants. Laughing and hugging eachother. Mrs Reguilon had brought them some sandwiches and drinks while Sergio fumbled with the playstation. All of them laughed while playing playstation. Marcos was glued to his phone and Alvaro approached him like a cat sneaking up to him.

"Who is Sergi, pollito ??"

Marcos screamed and his phone fell to the floor with a clatter. All heads turned towards the blond who picked up his phone and wiped it clean.

"Sergi ?? Who is Sergi ?? Is he the one you have been hiding from us pollito ??"

"He is no one."

Odri looked unimpressed and unsatisfied with the answer and crossed his arms over his chest, sighing. He turned around to look at the others for help.

"That's why you were sending him hearts ?? Because he is no one ??"

Marcos was avoiding his friends looks. He couldn't really talk about this.

"Why didn't you tell us you had a boyfriend pollito ??"

Marcos shoulders sagged. 

"Because he is like three years older and a cule. He lives in Barcelona…"

Everyone looked at eachother and then at Marcos who was looking at his feet ashamed. 

"So ?? Who cares if he is a cule or from Barcelona ?? As long as you are happy. If he hurts you we are going to cut off his head. Take the controller I am fed up losing to Cristo."

Marcos lifted his head and looked at Sergio wide eyed. Before accepting the controller and playing against Cristo who was unbeaten. Out of the corner of his eye Sergio observed Fede and Javi. Javi had hugged his best friend from behind and had placed his chin on his shoulder. Occasionally kissing his neck or cheek while Fede smiled like a love struck happy puppy. 

Midnight was there faster than any of them saw it coming. Together they enjoyed the fireworks. All of them watching the rockets explode and color the sky in different colors. When Javi kissed him at Midnight surrounded by all of their friends Fede was the happiest person alive.

"Happy new year mi amor."

The next semster started in a blur. Javi had taken Fede to his class. He had reached the group around Sergio and the others who were waiting for him to go to practise. Upon spotting him Sergio walked up to him with this unreadable expression on his face, making Javi tilt his head in confusion.

"If you hurt him I will-"

Javi cut him off almost immediately.

"If I ever hurt him you can punch me in the face."

Sergio had halted in his tracks dumbfounded. His mouth hanging open to say something. The others looked at eachother confused while Sergios mouth hung open slightly to reply.

"All of you can punch me in the face if I ever hurt him."

Javi turned around, shouldered his bag and began to walk towards the lockerroom. He turned around and rose an eyebrow to the still shocked group.

"Come on chicos we are going to be late", he said in his captain voice and watched on amused when Sergio and the others began hurrying towards him. Upon seeing Fede who was waiting in front of the lockerroom, looking around shyly before spotting him, Javis heart skipped a beat. 

Fede hugged him tightly buring his face in his neck while Javi wrapped his arms around his boyfriends waist and lifted him up from the floor slightly. He was so incredibly happy. Javi couldn't even remember when he had been this happy to see someone. The captains arms were still around Fedes waist who looked like the sun. Connecting their lips in a soft short kiss before caressing the side of Fedes head.

"Are you going to watch practise mi amor ??"

Fede blushed crimson at the petname and nodded his head excitedly. Sergio and the others hugged him briefly before leaving Fede with Javi. Fede had taken the older ones face in his hands and had pressed a short kiss against his lips before they Eskimo kissed and Fede hurried towards the stands. 

Javi had exhaled softly when he heard voices coming from the inside of the lockerroom which made him turn around. Upon entering the lockerroom Javi frowned at Sergio and the others who were standing in front of his locker. Before he could ask them what they were doing Alvaro had turned around and had opened his mouth to say something but he closed it right away.

"What is going on ?? Why are you standing in front of my locker ?? Do I have love letters or what ??"

Sergio turned around and there was something in his eyes that Javi couldn't really place. There was some kind of sadness in them. 

"We are sorry capi."

Javi narrowed his eyes confused when the group went to sit on their respective places to reveal his locker being besmeared with slurs and insults. Breathing out slowly through his nose Javi turned the key in his locker to get his stuff. His fingernails dug into the palm of his hand painfully. 

Fuck off faggot.

You are not our captain.

We don't want you.

He would clean it up after practise. Javi was too tired to care if he was honest. He had never wanted to be captain and none of the guys had ever thrown around homophobic remarks. Not to Sergio and the others anyway. Apparently had fallen into disgrace with the whole school and half of the team by fucking up that game against Atletico. Fine. He didn't care about that anyway. 

"You ok capi ??"

Javi was about to tie his shoelace and Sergio appeared before him, a worried expression on his face. Javi shrugged. He didn't care what people said about him really. He could deal with it, it wouldn't be the first time. One last time stretched his legs before shooing the others towards the pitch. Their other teammates weren't even looking at him. 

Fede waved from the stands and Javi smiled back and winked at him before focusing on what their coach was saying to them. They might have lost to Atletico but the saison was far from over. 

Fede was dangling his feet happily as he watched Javi and the others run laps. Carefully he took out his block to begin drawing a bit. He felt so incredibly happy. Fede looked up when there was shouting on the pitch. His heart stopped when he saw Javi laying on the ground and holding his leg. His face scrunched in pain. One of his teammates was shouting at him. Sergio and the others pushed him away while Javi was clutching his injured leg.

Javi was send off of the field by the medical staff and Fede took the stairs two at a time. His heart was in his throat in worry. He found Javi laying on the bench. His ankle wrapped and an ice pack laying on top of it. Javi had his arm pressed against his eyes and was breathing out heavily. He flinched when Fede touched his arm lightly.

"Amor ?? What you doing here ??"

Fede looked up and froze at the slurs that were written on Javis locker. The other followed him with his eyes and grabbed his wrist squeezing it gently. Something in Fedes face broke and he started crying. Before Javi could say any words of comfort the lockerroom door was opened and a group of girls stormed inside. Pushing Fede away from Javi whos head collided with a bench painfully.

"Get away from our captain you freak. It's your fault he is hurt. You are a monster. He doesn't love you. He isn't even gay. He is way too good looking to be gay."

Fede was curled up on the floor clutching his head and crying silently. Thats when Javis patience snapped. Usually he was calm and composed. This was too much however.

"Fuck off!"

The group whirled around and looked at him dumbfounded. Javi had sat up and there was this expression on his face. The leader of the group approached him.

"Fuck off. Don't make me repeat myself. You really think you know me. You really think you are entitled to tell me or anyone else what I am and what not. Or who to love and who not. So maybe I am gay ?? Or bi ?? Sorry to disappoint you ladies but I would never fall for shallow people like you. Fuck off before I report you to the headmaster."

The girls stormed out with tears in their eyes while Javis eyes could have killed someone. His eyes softened when he got up and limped to Fede who was still clutching his head laying on the floor.

"Let me have a look amor."

Javi had sat Fede up and was inspecting the back of his boyfriends head carefully when the door to the lockerroom was opened again…


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fedes and Javis encounter turns into the worst one possible.

Everything stood still when all of his other teammates came in. Javi had sat Fede on the bench gently and was pressing the ice pack he had used for his ankle before on to the back of the younger ones head. Fede had his eyes shut tightly in pain. A snarl broke through the lockerroom. 

Javi got up immediately as he saw his teammates aporoach them from the corner of his eye. Sergio and the others weren't there yet. Luis grabbed him by the collar and shook him forcefully while the other cornered him and Fede as if they were the prey.

"Look who we have got here. The captain. You are not our captain. Our captain is not a cocksucker. Fuck off. You are as much a freak as that bastard is. Look at him. He can't even talk. You are just pathetic and deserve to die."

Something inside of Javi flared. He pushed out his chest and straightened his back. Making him appear even taller than he already was. He was face to face with his teammate. Their faces were inches apart.

"Watch your mouth."

The whole group started to laugh.

"What are you going to do about it "captain" ?? Did we insult your wife ?? Oh poor you. We are sorry."

Javi remained as calm as the sea. His eyes shining dangerously. He had to stay calm lashing out wasn't really his thing and he was still the captain. Javi knew that their headmaster wouldn't do anything about the remarks. He was homophobic himself. Fede had his face hidden between his shoulderblades and Javi could feel him shake. 

"Little pussy. Look at him, the freak is crying."

Javi had the urge to punch all of them in the face. His first priority was Fede though. Comforting his distraught boyfriend was everything that mattered. He didn't care if his teammates would make fun of him. Javi turned around and gathered Fede in his arms who was shaking like a leaf. Hiding his face in Javis chest. His palms curling around his boyfriends jersey. 

"It's ok mi amor. I am here."

Before Javi could react Angel and Luis had pushed him hard. Fede still in his arms Javi managed to turn around in time to take the impact himself. Fede was safely cushioned in his arms. He wouldn't let anything happen to the younger one. Javis lower back hit the bench painfully and he hissed. 

Luis laughed above him a maniacal smile on his face.

"Ohh I am sorry captain."

He started to laugh prompting the others to laugh with him. Javi winced when he got up. He sat Fede on the bench and pushed Luis and Angel away from him. His lower back was throbbing uncomfortably but now wasn't the time to show any kind of weakness. With a snarl Javi ripped away the captains armband from his arm and threw it on the floor.

"I don't care if you don't want me as captain. I never wanted to be one anyway. Fuck off now before I report you to the headmaster."

Javi was laughed at. Angel even spit in his face but Javi never lashed out. He knew Perez would never be on his side. He was no fool. If he had been alone the whole situation would have been different. He wasn't. Angel had approached Fede who was still sitting on the bench and was looking up at him fearfully. 

"Hello freak. Lets have a look at your legs. We heard that they are the reason you are a freak."

Fede wanted to scream as Angel touched him. Tears were pricking in his eyes as the other pulled at his leggings.

"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HIM."

Angel was thrown to the floor by an enraged Sergio. Sergios hand curled around the others throat and his nostrils flared dangerously. How dare those bastards touch Fede ??

"I will kill all of you."

Cristo and Luca had gone to help Javi while Marcos and Alvaro had gathered the shaking Fede into their arms and were trying to calm him down. Javi was at the youngers side immediately. An arm curling around his waist while Fede hid his face in his chest. His shoulders shaking with sobs. 

Sergio was snarling at everyone and everything. The lockerroom was too loud. There were snarls and shouts and words thrown around. Javi had managed to navigate him and Fede out of the room. His arm still curled around the younger one. Holding him close and leaving small kisses against his temple while he pressed them against the wall. 

"It's ok mi amor. It's ok."

Fede looked up at him with tears in his eyes which Javi wiped away gently. Proceeding to kiss Fede forehead. Holding him close to his chest.

"We should go to the medical room. I don't want you to have a concussion."

Javi turned around when the door to the lockerroom was opened. Sergio and Cristo had a bloody lip. He should have stopped all of them. Javi didn't need them to fight for him. He understood that they had protected Fede.

"Are you ok Fede ??"

The Uruguayan looked up from Javis chest and nodded. He felt horrible. He had never wanted anyone to hurt because of him. This shouldn't have happened. 

"We should go to the medical room Fede. Just to make sure that you are ok please."

The others had started to go on ahead when Fede gripped Javis sleeve like a toddler and tugged at it. His eyes filling with tears. 

"It's ok mi amor. Don't worry. Come now I just want to make sure you are ok."

The group waited outside of the medical room while Javi and Fede were inside. The doctor checked on Fede and asked questions which Javi answered as good as he could.

"He could have a concussion. The best thing would be rest and sleep. If it gets worse or he throws up please bring him in again for now he should feel a bit dizzy and have a headache."

Javi nodded and took Fedes hand in his reassuringly. Sergio was inspecting Fede from head to toe. The younger one signed that he was fine just a little bit tired and that he wished to go to bed. He was so tired. He had been so incredibly excited to see Javi play and now the day had turned into a nightmare. He just wanted to curl in bed and hug Javi forever. 

The others escorted them to his dorm. Sergio gripped Javis arm and took him to the side. His eyes shining worriedly.

"You gave up your captain position for Fede. Solari will talk to us about the commotion tomorrow. Most probably. All of us have your back ok. Thank you for having defended Fede."

"He is my boyfriend and I care about him. I told you that before didn't I ?? No need to thank me. I would have done the same for any of you too. Thats what a good captain does right ??"

"And a good friend", Sergio added.

Fede was curled up in bed. Marcos and Luca petting his head gently. Cristo had sat in Fedes chair when Sergio and Javi entered the room. 

"Do you think Solari will throw a fit tomorrow ??"

Sergio and Javi shrugged. Luis and Angel would spin it that way to make Javi look like he was the one who was to blame and then the capitancy would be stripped from him. Javi didn't care about that. He had never cared about being captain. 

"Ok Fede needs to rest we will see eachother tomorrow. Please take good care of Fede for us."

Javi nodded and as soon as the other were outside he locked the door. That's when he felt the full pain of his lower back hitting the bench. Javi winced in pain and squeezed his eyes shut. 

"Amor can I borrow a t-shirt from you ??"

Fede had turned around to face Javi and nodded. Observing his boyfriend opening his wardrobe and grabbing a shirt from inside. Despite feeling dizzy Fede sat up when he saw the deep purple mark on Javis lower back. His heart shattered at the sight. He had never wanted anyone to get hurt for him. Of all people not Javi. 

It was as if Javi had sensed that something was wrong because he cradled Fedes face in his hand softly and pressed a lingering kiss against his forehead before settling in bed next to the younger one. Opening his arms in invitation. Fede snuggled against his chest. Javis chin resting on his head while his hands traveled up and down his back.

"Sleep pajarito azul. We will deal with everything tomorrow. It's ok."

Fede didn't manage to sleep the night. He just wanted Javi to be ok and now he would lose his capitancy because of him. Fede started crying soundlessly. Maybe they shouldn't have gotten together. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't listened to Sergio. An arm curled around his waist and Fedes back was pushed into a chest. A hand running through his hair gently. 

Fede fell asleep again. 

The next day Solari informed him that Perez would talk to him personally in a few days. Until then he was suspended from practise for having started the commotion. Luis and Angel snickering at him. Sergio and the others had try to defend him but Javi had just shook his head. It had been nice that his friends wanted to defend and help him but he was in this mess on his own. At least Sergio and Cristo wouldn't be punished.

"But that's not fucking fair Javi. You just tried to protect Fede. Why do you have to pay for that."

Javi had sighed and had run a hand across his face. 

"It's ok Sergio really. I don't really mind it. I have to go pick up Fede so we can go to Mous class. Maybe I can use those days of suspension to learn for his class and spend time with Fede. It's not that bad really. Just please don't fight with them."

Sergio huffed disapprovingly. 

Javi wasn't really bothered by the suspension. It was just that a suspension. Angel and Luis were just jealous because the didn't get to play. It wasn't Javis decision. He was just the captain. Or rather he had been the captain. Which he hadn't wanted to be in the first place. Javi waited at the usual spot for his boyfriend who was running late. With a frown Javi checked the toilet. Mou would throw a fit but Javi couldn't care for that now. Fede was his top priority now.

Just as Javi was about to round the corner he nearly collided with Fede who was rubbing his eyes. One could see that he had cried. His eyes were red and puffy. Gently Javi gripped his shoulders and steadied him before he could fall to the floor.

"Amor ?? Are you ok ?? What happened ??"

Fede shook his head and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. He didn't want to bother Javi with that. It was nothing. He was just tired. Taking Fedes hand in his Javi navigated them to Mous class room. 

"We can skip his class if you want to ??"

Fede shook his head and Javi nodded resigned. Mou was Mou and he was just his annoying self. To Javi it felt as if the class was lasting longer than usual. A paperball made him turn around. Javi didn't even bother to open it. Glancing towards Fede his boyfriend had started doodling and wasn't really paying attention to what Mou was saying. The class ended uneventful.

Solaris threat still hung in the air but after a week nothing had happened. Yet.

Javi was dragged out of class and told that the headmaster wanted to see him immediately. He hadn't seen Fede that day at all. His eyes widened when he spotted his boyfriend standing in front of the headmasters office. Playing with his hands nervously. 

"Amor."

Fede hid his face in Javis chest and trembled. Javi had never been to Perez office. He rubbed Fedes back in an attempt to calm him down when the door was opened by the secretary who told them to come in. Perez was looking over some papers and was ignoring them all together. Making them wait for at least 15 Minutes before putting the papers aside. Putting his glasses on the table Perez began to speak.

"Ahh Mr. Sanchez, Mr. Valverde you are asking yourselves why I have asked you to come to my office. Well there have been complaints about the both of you I can no longer ignore. Mr. Solari also told me that there was an incident at practise which is unacceptable on your part Mr. Sanchez. You are the captain and I expected to you to act like one. Your teammates think differently. I hereby take away your capitancy. I also suspend your from practise and playing for a month. I hope this will serve as a suitable punishment. The second thing students have complained about it the nature of your relationship. Both of you know about the rules. We do not accept that kind of behaviour. Mr. Valverde and yourself Mr. Sanchez are suspended for 3 weeks from classes. It will affect your grades of course. You are dismissed."

Fede was like frozen on the spot and Javi managed to make him follow him by grabbing his distraught boyfriends arm and cupping his cheeks in comfort. Fede started crying and Javi wanted to punch someone in the face.

When Sergio and the others got to know they were outraged. Understandably. All of them had gathered in Fedes room when Javi broke the news to them.

"How dare that bastard ?? Strip you out of your capitancy and suspend you ?? You did nothing wrong. What the hell ?? We will talk to Solari. This is madness."

"It's ok Sergio. What is done is done. And hey there are positives. I can spend some time with Fede."

The peace Javi had wished for didn't last long. Yes they spend time with eachother. Cuddled. Watched movies. Kissed. It was nice. For a while until one day in mid February Javi stumbled upon a scene he was sure had burned itself into his brain. 

Of course his parents had gotten to know about the suspension and were furious. Blaming it on Fede. Javi couldn't care. He had just returned from getting some clothes from his dorm when the sight before him made his knees buckle.

Fedes door was open. His boyfriend was kneeling in the middle of the corridor. His palms pressed against his eyes while his shoulders shook with sobs. Paper snippets were scattered around him like cherry blossoms. Upon approaching Fede, Javi noticed that those snippets had belonged to Fedes blocks. 

Someone had destroyed all of Fedes blocks and had torn them apart ?? What kind of monster would do something like that. Javi gathered the distraught Fede into his arms who cried in his chest. Gently he lifted the other from the floor and sat him on the bed. Cradling the side of his head.

"Amor ??"

Fede looked up at him with wide fearful eyes.

"Ja-v-i."


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fedes past is unveiled.

Javis hands that he had intended to cup Fedes cheek with froze midway and he looked at the younger one wide-eyed. Fede had spoken ?? In that exact moment Javi had no idea what to do. What should he do ?? 

"Ja-v-i…"

Javi gulped and crouched down to be on eye level with Fede. A hand stroking his knee. Fede was crying and hiding his face in his hands. 

"Amor what happened ?? Who destroyed all of your drawings ?? Should I call Sergio ??"

"Se-r-g-io."

Holding Fede close Javi fumbled with his phone and dialed Sergios number immediately. The snippets of Fedes drawings in the corridor made him gag. Who would do something like that ?? How much of a monster could one be ?? Sergio looked out of breathe wenn he arrived at Fedes dorm.

"Fede ?? What happened ??"

Fede had his face still pressed in Javis chest and was trembling like a leaf on a windy autumns day. Tears were falling from his face like a waterfall. Sergio had halted in his tracks at the sight. That's when he noticed all of the pieces of the drawings that looked like scattered rose petals.

"Fede ??" 

Sergio turned towards Javi enraged. Prying him away from his friend. His face was red in anger. Sergio pushed Javi against the wall and snarled at him. The captain never moving or trying to push Sergio away. 

"What have you done to him huh ??"

Javi remained calm. Of course he did. It wouldn't help him to fight against Sergio. He understood, somehow. If he had someone he considered a brother and said person was crying like that while being with someone, he would have reacted the same. 

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ??"

Javi was about to open his mouth to say something when Fede called Sergios name like a small scared kicked puppy. It was barely audible and Sergio froze for a split second. His hand leaving Javis throat. 

"See-r-g-io."

Sergio turned around and stumbled towards Fede who avoided his eyes. Still in disbelief Sergio knelt down before his friend and took his face in his hands. Fede however avoided his eyes and looked at Javi who was still pressed against his wall. Fede reached out to him like a toddler. 

Javi looked at his feet and sighed.

"Ja-v-i…"

"Fede hasn't he done enough already ??"

"Ja-v-i…", Fede mumbled while getting up and pressing his face into Javis chest. He turned around to face Sergio who was looking at him baffled. Shaking his head when his friend wanted to say something.

"What happened Fede ?? If Javi hasn't done this who was it then ??"

Despite the accusation, that really stung but Javi understood where Sergio came from, he never said a thing but held Fede close to his chest. Leaving small kisses all over his face and head. Relaxing the younger one effectively who smiled at him gratefully. It was a small smile but a smile nonetheless.

Fede uncurled his hands from Javis thick hoodie and signed at Sergio furiously. His brother and best friend looked at his feet ashamed before he took a few steps forwarf until he was right in front of Javi and held his hand out in apology.

"Sorry I didn't mean to lash out at you like that. It wasn't fair and I am sorry. I am just very protective. Fede is my brother. Still what I did was wrong. I am sorry."

Javi nodded and shook Sergios outstretched hand. Fede had pushed his face into his boyfriend's hoodie and was inhaling his scent to calm down. It helped and Fede felt tired all of a sudden but he owed an explanation to both Javi and Sergio. He would have never thought that this event would trigger him to speak again. 

Javi had sat Fede on the bed. Taking his hand in his to calm him down. Sergio had sat on the other side. Fedes lip was quivering as he thought back at what had happened a few hours ago. Taking a deep breath to calm his still shaking form Fede began to sign slowly. As slowly as his trembling hands allowed him to.

After that horrible incident with Perez, Fede had been shaken enough although Javi tried to reassure him that it would be ok. Guilt had crept into his veins like ice. Because of him Javi had lost his capitancy. He got suspended from football and from classes. Fede could have dealt with it if he would have been the only one to be punshied but not Javi. The other had done nothing wrong.

They spend the days together. It was nice. Somehow. Fede helped Javi with translation courses which they got from a student in their class. They cuddled and watched movies together. It was as if the suspension hadn't happened at all. But it had happened and the consequences for both Javi and Fede would present themselves sooner than later.

For Fede sooner than for Javi. 

His mother had called him a few times which Fede ignored out of habit really. He had no intention of speaking to her. Why would he ?? She had never acknowledged his problem. She had never tried to help him. Instead she had pushed and pushed and pushed until Fede had broken. Wiping his nose Fede had made his way to his dorm one day after having been to the library with Javi. His boyfriend had gone to get changed at his dorm since they got caughed up in the rain on their way back.

"I will be back before you know it amor. I am going to get changed while you prepare a movie yes ??"

Fede had nodded smiling widly at the other. Javi kissed him softly as a goodbye and Fede proceeded to go to his dorm. Despite the suspension Javi made him so incredibly happy. He had no idea what was about to happen. Fede had grabbed his keys from his jeans and was changing a song on his phone when he looked up. 

His door stood open. This couldn't be. No one had the key. Javi was on the other end of campus. What was going on ?? Before Fede could react something came flying his way and he barely dodged it by pressing himself against the wall. Paper snippets hit the wall. Fedes eyes grew wide upon recognizing them. Those were pages from his blocks. 

What the hell was going on ??

Fede froze in his tracks immediately. His mother had gained access to his dorm and was ripping apart his blocks ?? Why ?? With tears in his eyes Fede grabbed her arm in an attempt to stop her. Please stop. No words left Fedes mouth despite him desperately trying to say something. 

His mother turned around to him. Her eyes were ice cold. A hand connected with his cheek and Fede stumbled to the floor. Tears falling from his eyes.

"The headmaster called me Federico. You have been suspended ?? And you are in a relationship with a man ?? I think all of those kids that bullied you at school were right. You are a freak. And these ?? What are these ?? Drawings ?? Are you a girl ??"

Fede had pressed himself against the wall and was shaking like a leaf. Perez had informed his mother ?? He was old enough there shouldn't have been the need to. 

"Say something Federico. I know you can talk. You have been acting like a small child for years now. You don't need therapy I know you can talk. Why are you being so difficult ?? And this relationship you are in. Terminate it, my son isn't one of those people. I am sure you would have found a girl if you weren't so weird."

Fedes anxiety levels shot through the roof. Images began to swim before his eyes and he clutched his chest desperately. It was too late he was getting a panic attack. He wished Javi were here with him. Or Sergio or anyone. He could never calm down on his own. 

Helplessly Fede had to watch his mother tear apart his drawings. She gagged at drawings of Javi and tore them up slowly. Making Fede watch in the process before she threw them at his face as if he was a dog. Even worse than a dog. Fede had grabbed her leg in an attempt to make her stop.

Please stop. Some of them were a few years old. 

"Talk already you freak. I know you can talk. People were just bullying you at school. Everyone gets bullied. You are not special for not talking. TALK."

Fede flinched back at the booming of his mothers voice. Please he wanted to see Javi. Please.

"You disgust me so much. Stop crying like a girl. Those drawings of yours I will never understand it. Couldn't I have had a normal kid. A mute, sissy girl that's what I have got. You should be ashamed of yourself. You are not my son. If you ever find your voice again I expect and apology for all the harm you have caused me."

His mother left and Fede didn't move for a while. He practically crawled to the corridor. Grabbing a handful of his destroyed drawings and clutching them to his chest while crying. That's how Javi had found him. He had no idea what had triggered him speaking again but something had been triggered. 

Sergio snarled enraged. How dare she ?? How dare she do this to Fede ??

"She blamed you for her mistakes ?? HOW DARE SHE ??"

Fede flinched back and pressed himself against Javi.

"She has no idea what happened all those years ago. She doesn't deserve to know."

All of them stayed silent for a while when Fede signed something slowly. Sergio looked at him alert and wide eyed.

"Are you sure Fede ??"

The other nodded. Javi looked up at Sergio in question. He was confused. 

"Fede wants me to tell you what happened to him."

Everything had started when they had been in highschool. In 6th grade to be precise. Fede and Sergio had applied for the football team. Both of them had always played together. They thought it would be fun. And it was. Until both him and Sergio became regulars. Fede was naturally gifted and talented. His position was fought over a lot. The other students grew jealous of him because of that. Tackeling him harder than necessary. Fede never made a sound he just got up again and dusted himself off. 

Sergio had always been the one to push the others away. 

"Sergio I am ok. It was just a challenge."

Sergio had glanced at Fedes legs. They were bloody. The studs having dug into his flesh. Fede limped for a while. The other students didn't stop however. They tackled Fede to the ground. They even stomped on his legs a few times. The postions were a hot topic and everyone wanted to have it. Fede never complained and got back up.

"Have you seen Valverdes legs. They look like womens legs. My parents have a term for such people. They are called sissy."

"My father calls them faggots or cocksuckers. He says that such people have no right to live. God will punish them."

"Do you think Valverde is one of those people ??"

"Of course he is. He needs to be punished."

Fede had sat with Sergio during lunch while his friend showed him his new collection of football stickers. Both of them had started collecting them after the World Cup. 

"Look Fede I have got Zizou."

Fede smiled at his friend while he showed him Beckham and Roberto Carlos.

One day Sergio was ill and Fede went to practise alone. He arrived at the training ground just to find it empty. He ran into some of his teammates. The ones that had tackled him a few times. It didn't matter to Fede. If he got used to it now he would have better chances when he was a professional.

"Valverde coach changed to the ash pitch. The grass pitch is occupied today come on."

Fede couldn't have know that it would be a trap. A very cruel trap. 

"The lockerroom is down here since the other is also occupied."

Fede wasn't prepared to be thrown on the floor. A rope or cloth wrapped around his mouth. A hand prevented him from screaming. Fede tried to kick his bullies away. To no avail. They managed to grab his arms and tie them on his back. The "lockerroom" turned out to be a room to deposite gym utensils if they were needed for the ash pitch. Fede was kicked in the stomach.

"It's what you deserve fucking faggot. You are disgusting. God will punish you." Fede screamed. The others just laughed at him and locked the door with the key they had gotten from the janitor. Since Sergio wasn't with him no one missed him. His mother worked nightshifts and had already left when he got home. He barely saw her. Plus he would stay to train for a while longer. 

Fede was left alone in that room screaming and crying for a day until Sergio got back to school. Worried about his friend. He had asked around but no one had seen him. He got a hint from an older pupil. Sergio had found Fedes necklace infront of the storage room. A faint noise alerting him.

"Fede ?? Where are you amigo ??"

The noise was there again and Sergio called the janitor. Fede was shaking and crying when Sergio rolled him around gently. The janitor helping him with untieing Fede who sobbed into his chest soundlessly. 

"Fede who did this ??"

Fede opened his mouth to say something but no word came out. He tried again. And again. Nothing. He started having a panic attack while Sergio tried to calm him down. He couldn't talk. Why couldn't he talk ?? What was going on ?? Why couldn't he talk ??

Fede tried telling Sergio who it was. He really tried. He couldn't speak. He had screamed and cried a whole day maybe his voice was just hoarse ?? Fede didn't manage to talk the following days. Sergio had tried to explain it to Fedes mother who said that it was a phase and Fede wanted attention from her.

Javi was frozen in shock while Fede shivered like a leaf.

"I am going to kill every and eachone of them."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fede and Javi have a few eventful days together for their first year anniversary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back. I guess. Sorry for the absence. 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️

A year later

Despite everything that Sergio had told him one year ago Javi still worried very much about Fede. His boyfriend had recovered. Thank God. The guys had been amazing in helping the younger take things off his mind. Which Javi was extremely gratefully for. Fede was snoozing softly on his chest. Javi running a hand through his boyfriends slightly curly hair. Dropping a small kiss against his forehead. Carefully he felt around his pillow. Pulling out his phone and squinting his eyes at the bright light.

The alarm clock would ring soon so Javi switched it off to not disturb Fede further. He was still angry at everything his boyfriend had gone through. He really wanted to strangled those bastards. Fede never mentioned it and Javi would never push him. A year into their relationship the former captain had gotten quiet good at sign language. Although Fede had made an effort to speak as much as he could.

Still sometimes Javi noticed that Fede still felt uncomfortable talking when they were in public opting to sign in sign language. In the confines of their room or with Sergio and the others around Fede felt much more comfortable and brave. They were his friends. All of them had reacted the same as Sergio. Hugging the Uruguayan to their chests happily. It felt like a miracle really. 

Fede stirred on Javis chest and blinked sleepily. Trying to snuggle his cheek further into Javis chest. Making the older chuckle lightly. A hand running through Fedes hair. 

"Ja-vi."

Javi smiled warmly. His eyes softening in the dark room and he sighed softly. God he loved Fedes voice. It was soft and warm and beautiful. Of course Javi wouldn't have cared if the younger one would have remained mute. He was glad that changed although the circumstances of Fede speaking again had been horribled. Utterly horrible. Fede stretched his body like a cat and pushed his face into Javis neck. Breathing out softly.

"We have to wake up beautiful. You know how Sergio will get. He will knock on our door until we open it."

Fede sighed loudly but lifted his head. His half closed eyes closing almost immediately at the darkness of the room. 

"Fede. Amor. We have to get up."

Fede sighed in mild annoyance and rolled of, off Javi. Staring at his ceiling and trying not to flinch when Javis warmth left the bed to switch on the light. Fede squeezing his eyes shut immediately. A gentle hand running through his hair in comfort. It was that time of the year again. Winter. Fede always got lethargic in Winter. 

Grabbing Fede by the waist Javi hauled the younger one up. Cradling his face in his hands. Fedes arms winding around him, to steady himself while he half knelt on the bed and half leaned on his boyfriend. Their lips meeting in a soft kiss. Javis hand massaging the Uruguayans neck making him purr like a cat. 

"Are you ready to get up amor ??"

Fede pouted slightly while shaking his head no. Instead pushing his face into the older ones neck, inhaling his scent. Javis arms running up and down his back in comfort. Fede was sat on the bed. His head lolling to the side sleepily. Rummaging through their now shared wardrobe Javi pulled out a hoodie.   
Fedes eyes snapping open immediately.

"Mine."

Javi laughed gently while caressing the side of Fedes head. Handing him the hoodie. It was cute how Fede claimed that hoodie. Javi had worn it yesterday and Fede wanted to cling to his smell. They were already at that point in their relationship where they shared clothes. And honestly Javi loved it. He loved how comfortable and safe Fede felt around him. Giving him so much love in return. As the young kids called it Javi was sure he was whipped.

Fede pulled the hoodie over his head and smiled like a kid on Christmas. Smiling widly at Javi. Both of them getting up. 10 Minutes too late. Sergio would kill them but oh well. Brushing their teeth and shouldering their bags both of them exited the dorm. Fedes hand automatically finding his and squeezing gently. Hand in hand their scarves pulled over their faces both of them made their way to the cafe on campus. 

"You are late amigos", Regui scolded them lightly.

He hugged Fede tightly before letting his best friend go to sit with the others. Grabbing Javis arm to go to the counter.

"So that favour you asked me for your one year anniversary I managed to make it happen. Brahim said he will get them for Christmas. Don't worry about that. It's really nice you want to do that for him."

"He is my boyfriend of course I'd gift him that."

Sergio smiled widly before slapping Javis arm and balancing their drinks back to the table. Meanwhile Marco was whining and asking Marcos when he would finally introduce Sergi to them. The blond had met his boyfriend in Barcelona a few times. The older had never been to Madrid but it would change on Christmas.

"If you keep bugging me about it Marco I won't introduce him to you."

"Wait what ??", Luca said scandalized.

"Hermano you promised us", Cristo tried to reason. 

Marcos shrugged.

"Just please be nice to him. He is a bit afraid of my overprotective friends. He told me so over the phone. He is very nervous."

Marco slapped the blonds back and hugged him tightly.

"Don't worry pollito we will behave our best just for you. Damn we love you. If he hurts you we will bury him five feet under."

Marco was saying all of this with his hand on his heart. So ever sincere. Marcos laughed softly. Ruffling his friends head.

"Thanks amigo I appreciate that a lot."

Javi hugged Fede from behind. His chin pillowed on his boyfriends shoulder. Watching the others bicker lightly. Fedes thumb stroking his wrist. His boyfriends head pressing itself against Javis in comfort. It would be inevitable for the others not to talk about it. Javi had made his peace with it really. It wasn't that important anymore. Not to him. He had Fede thats what counted.

"You guys will be at the match before Christmas right ??"

It was a harmless, innocent question but Javi felt himself flinch. Were it not for Fedes body shielding his, he was sure everyone would have noticed. Perez had told him that he wouldn't be allowed to play football anymore if he continued his relationship with Fede. With his head held high and his chest puffed out in determination and pride Javi had left his previously taken captain armband on the headmasters table and had left.

Nothing would ever be so important to him than his relationship with Fede. Not football and certainly not a damn captains armband. Perez could stuff that thing into his mouth if he wanted to. It didn't mean that Javi didn't miss playing. He missed it. A lot. he went to watch practise with Fede everyday. They went to all the matches to support their friends. Javi would never deny that it didn't hurt. 

It hurt. A lot. But it would have hurt even more to lose Fede. It would have ripped his heart out and Javi was sure both of them wouldn't have survived it. The captains armband and football were a small price to pay in contrast to losing Fede. They were nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just peanuts.

A gentle pat on his arm made Javi snap out of his thoughts. Fedes eyesbrows were frowned in worry and he turned around in his boyfriends embrace to cup his cheek gently. Not even caring where they were. A year into their relationship Fede has gotten way braver. There was still fear in his heart. The trauma was still present and it wouldn't go away on it's own. Fede knew that but Javi had helped him a lot.

By just being with him. By just loving him and accepting him. 

Grabbing Fedes hand from his cheek Javi placed a small kiss to his palm, making the younger giggle. They were still in their little private bubble. It was like time was standing still and Javi hugged Fede tightly. Hiding his face in his boyfriends neck.

"God you guys so are cute."

Luca and Alvaro were giggling like little fangirls. While Sergio ran a hand through boys of their hair. Fede and Javi separating while the younger game him a wide smile. Making Javis heart beat faster and skip a beat. He was so whipped. Grabbing Fedes and squeezing it they both sat down again.

"Yeah don't worry we will be at the match. We would never miss a game."

Sergio looked up from his glass. A sad smile on his face.

"You know we miss you capi."

"I am not your captain anymore."

"You will always be our captain Javi. It doesn't matter what Perez says. Our current "captain" well…"

"He is still your captain Sergio. You have to respect him."

Good old Javi. He hated that guys guts but he had too much respect for the captains armband and what it meant and represented. 

"YOU are our captain. It doesn't matter if on or off the pitch."

Javi patted Sergios shoulder and all of them got up, paid and went to their respective classes. Today was the last day before the traditional end of year match and they Christmas vacations would roll around. They would meet up at Sergios like last year. A lot had changed. So much. Too much. His parents had gotten to know about the football suspension and they had been pleased about that.

It was about time he forgot about that nonsense and focused on his studies. They had also been informed about Javis relationship to Fede… Javi hadn't been home for a little over a year. It was better that way. He was able to breathe a bit. Not having to worry about his parents breathing down his neck. He knew that he would have to face them again. He just wanted to enjoy the moment. Celebrate their one year anniversary.

He just wanted to be happy. He was happy. With Fede and their relationship. He really was. He loved the Uruguayan with all his heart. 

Fedes hand in his was warm and together they made their way to Mous class. Which was boring as always. Still Javi tried to focus as much as he could. With Fedes help his grades had improved but Mou was Mou and he didn't say anything to that. Javi was sure that the man wanted to eat his exams because he liked to act superior and there was no way in hell Javi had gotten so good in a year. It was funny. The mental image of Mou eating paper.

Fedes hand was on his knee and Javi gave him a wide smile. The younger one doodling happily in his block. Sometimes he would show Javi the pictures and sometimes he wouldn't. It had been a year and Javi hadn't managed to tell the younger one that his original block had been destroyed. The guilt eating him up because of it. He would tell Fede. He had to…

His heart was bleeding at the thought.

Mous class ended without further incident. Everyone was excited for Christmas. The next day the big game against Atletico took place. Javi and Fede making their way to the stands. Wrapped in scarves and hats. Sergio and the others were doing everything they could. A familiar face popped out of the crowd. 

"Brahim."

"Hello there chicos. You look good."

"Where are the dads ??"

Brahim shrugged and hugged both of them before sitting down. Looking out for Sergio who was running around on he field. A thin sheet of snow covering the ground. Brahim was cheering and screaming for Sergio but also the others. In the end they lost to Atletico again. Fede whimpered next to Javi while hiding his face in his neck.

"I know amor… I know. I wish I could have helped them…"

Fede went to comfort Sergio and the others when Brahim grabbed Javis wrist. Pulling an envelope from his pocket and handing it to the former captain. 

"Thank you so much. I owe you."

"There is a little extra surprise for you. It's from my dads. Have fun."

With that Brahim went to Sergio, leaving a stunned Javi who turned the envelope around. The next day all of them made their way to Sergios house. The envelope safely stashed in one of Fedes books for when they would get back at the dorms. Mrs Reguilon greeted them warmly and brought all of them sandwiches and cake. 

Back at the dorms Fede hugged Javi tightly to his chest. They had agreed to stay up until midnight to give eachother their presents. Fedes head was pillowed in Javis lap, who ran a hand through his hair, and started to read to him. Occasionally dropping kisses to Fedes forehead. Finally when midnight rolled around, Javi whipped the envelope from behind his back, while Fede was searching through his drawers. 

The presented eachother their gifts and ended up giggling about it.

Carefully Federico opened the envelope and squeaked. Which made Javi melt. With wide eyes Fede looked at the present in his hands and back to Javi. He was gaping like a fish before throwing himself at his boyfriend who caught him effortlessly. Clinging to him like a koala before kissing him. The kiss was different. It wasn't cautious or slow. It was passionate and raw and full of emotion making Javi moan against him. 

Fede signed thank you because he knew that he couldn't trust his voice at that point. Javi laughing and kissing his forehead. The gift had been a full success. Gently Fedes gift was pushed towards Javi. Who opened it as carefully. His breathe hitching. A drawing block filled with pictures. Of them. Of their relationship. Each drawing being marked with a date. There were 12 in total. Symbolizing every month they had been together. A small text was scribbled next to each picture. 

Javi felt like crying. 

The big day came at the beginning of January. The gifts Fede had received from his boyfriend were tickets to a Real Madrid game at the Bernabeu. Fede had been anxious day. He pulled his Toni Kroos Jersey out of the depths of his wardrobe. Mrs Reguilon had bought him that one a few years ago since his mother had refused to do so. Sergio had somehow gotten to know. Fede had been afraid to wear it but they were going to the Bernabeu and hell yeah Fede would wear it. Javi picked him up in a Sergio Ramos jersey. 

The atmosphere in the stadium was incredible and Fedes eyes shone like a kid on Christmas. He grabbed Javis hand and beamed at him. Javi smiling back gently. By now he knew that Fedes idol was Toni Kroos. The German doing his magic on the field. Him and Lucas Vazquez looking the ocean together. A fluid motions of bodies. Toni pass razorsharp as if he had timed and measured it. Perfect. Lucas feet dribbling past the defender. The ball fluttering into the back of the net like a fish on land. 

The Spaniard jumping into the Germans arms holding on to him tightly as their teammates swarmed them. Fede watching the scene fascinated. His heart beating a little faster in his chest. God he really missed football like a lot. Jabi squeezing his hand made Fede snap out of his thought. His boyfriends kind eyes staring back at him. Fede hugged him in gratitude. They enjoyed the rest of the game. Real Madrid winning 4:0. 

"I have another surprise for you amor. Come on."

Grabbing Fedes hand Javi navigated them through the Bernabeu. Waiting in front of the lockerroom until Lucas popped his head out smiling at them. 

"Ah so you are Brahims friends right ?? Fede and Javi ?? Nice to meet you. Come in. Toni is inside."

Lucas disappeared inside of the lockerroom while Fede looked at Javi wide-eyed.

"Ja-vi ??"

His boyfriend smiled and pushed Fede inside. Lucas had gone to sit next to Toni. Since the number 7 spot was still empty. The blond was tieing his shoes while Lucas told him some stuff making Toni chuckle slightly. 

"So these are Javi and Fede, Antonio. Isco told us."

Toni nodded and looked up. Stretching his hand out to shake both Fedes and Javis. Fede was fumbling with his jersey. His head red in embarrassment. This was his idol and they were in the same room together. He would faint he was sure. Lucas had gotten up to search through his locker. Giving Toni a pen.

"I think you want to have the shirt signed right ??"

Fede nodded embarrassed. His hands clutching the jersey while Toni moved to sign it. Lucas was dangling his feet before he jumped up. 

"Lets go boys we have some plans."

Plans ?? Fede looked at Javi who just shrugged. Brahim had told him nothing. All four of them walked through the Bernabeu. Lucas chatting easily to Toni who just listened and nodded. Fede eyes widened as the reached the pitch. The same one the first team had played upon minutes ago. Toni had grabbed a ball and was jogging on to the field.

"Federico right ?? Come on."

Fede looked at Javi. His eyes wide. His boyfriend winked at him and pushed him on to the grass. Fede trotting after Toni who passed him the ball. It was like Fede was frozen on the spot. It had been years he had been on a pitch or had kicked a ball. He felt dizzy all of a sudden. Toni looking at him. Fede couldn't read him at all. 

"Brahim said you like football."

"Lo-ng time a-go."

Toni nodded. 

"Do you want me to shoot some corners so you can score some goals ??"

Fede hesitated. His heart beating in his chest. He nodded slowly. Lucas and Javi watching on from the bench. Fede positioned himself on the pitch while Toni prepared the ball. Breathing out slowly before the ball flew through the air gracefully. It was a perfect ball and Fede acted on instinct. Forgetting about everything in that moment. The ball landed at his feet and into the next in second. Fede watching on amazed as Toni jogged towards him. His hand in the air for a high five. 

"That was a good ball. Wanna try again."

Fede nodded. A feeling he had forgotten cruising through his veins.

Passion. 

Love.

Amazement for this sport.

Fede and Toni tried different shots. Lucas had his arms crossed over his chest. A smile dancing on his lips. Javi sideglanced him. The Spaniards eyes shining. A soft wide smile dancing on his lips.

"Luqui ?? Come over we need you as a goalkeeper for a moment yes ??"

Lucas excused himself and jogged to Tonis side. His hand on the blonds waist. While Toni whispered somethings into his ear. Lucas patting the Germans cheek gently. A hand curled around his wrist. Toni smiled back and Javi looked away. He felt like intruding. The way Lucas looked at Toni reminded him of himself. It looked like Lucas was in love. 

But this couldn't be. Right ??

Toni smirked and pushed Lucas towards the goal.  
Meanwhile Javi observed the scene. Fede was laughing happily which made Javis heart well with pride. Lucas was ruffling Tonis hair and laughing. Both of them talking to his boyfriend animated.

"Javi do you want to join us ??"

They played together for a while. Fede laughing happily. Hugging Javi tightly. He was so grateful for this experience. The ball at his feet felt like he had never stopped playing in the first place. It was an amazing feeling. "Another one" he would tell Toni shyly and the German would just give him another corner kick. Despite having played a difficult match and probably being dead tired. Half an hour later Fede would wipe the sweat out of his forehead with the back of his hand. Ok he was tired.

Lucas jogged to Toni and put the ball under his arm. A hand on the Germans chest his other arm grabbing his neck lightly, whispering to him. Toni nodding. Javi looked away. They looked so intimated and they were having a private moment so Javi looked away and focused on Fede who hugged him happily. His boyfriend was still panting. Javi was sure he must be exhausted. It had been an amazing experience but they needed to go home now. 

"Thank you so much for your time guys. We can't thank you enough."

Lucas smiled warmly at them while Toni waved them off shrugging. The Spaniard not leaving the blonds wrist and the German not making an effort to shake it off. The ball under his arm he let Lucas lead them off the pitch. 

"We'd do anything for our godson right, Antonio ??"

Toni just nodded. Lucas' thumb brushing his chin. Toni smiling lightly. Barely noticable. The smile was there for a milisecond before it vanished. Javi gulped and turned to look at Fede. His boyfriends face shining. He looked so happy so incredibly happy. Toni and Lucas went on ahead. Their hands brushing against eachother as they walked next to eachother in a manner that wouldn't allow for a sheet of paper to fit next to them. Javi desperately trying to look away and failing miserably. 

"Thanks for your company boys it was nice."

Toni walked up to Fede and patted his shoulder.

"You are good kid. I am sure Real would be glad to have you in their ranks. Keep it up."

Javi could see the tips of Fedes ears heat up and he nodded eagerly. Thanking Toni. Lucas waved goodbye and Toni just nodded at them. Stoic as ever. As if the past hour hadn't existed until Lucas pulled him into a hug and the blond practically melted against him. Javi was sure he had imagined the small kiss being pressed to the side of Lucas head. Shaking his own head to clear it Toni and Lucas had gone inside to the lockerroom.

It was past midnight when they arrived back at the dorms. As soon as the door closed Fede hugged Javi tightly. Squishing his face into his boyfriends chest. His shoulders shaking. Alert Javi pulled back to cup Fedes cheek. His eyes wide in concern at the tears in his boyfriends eyes.

"Fede ?? Amor what is going on ??"

Javi had no time to wait for an answer. Fede kissing him passionately. His back hitting the door. Making him moan slightly. Fede pulled back. His forehead pressed against the older ones. Javi blinking at him. Blame it on the hour. Or the lighting or whatever. Fede signed something and he turned crimson. Hiding his face in Javis chest embarrassed. Gulping Javi pushed Fede away from him slightly to looking him in the eyes.

"Can you repeat that. Please. I didn't quiet get that."

Javis voice was shaking. Fede looking him dead im the eye. His eyes soft as he signed again. Slowly this time. Making sure Javi understood what he was saying. He was Javis Adam's apple move. His eyes wide as he opened his mouth to say something. He closed it again immedietaly. Gapping at the younger one like a fish while Fede ducked his head embarrassed.

"Did I understand that correctly ??" Javi coughed his throat dry. 

Fede nodded.

I love you.


End file.
